Re-gifting - Please, Just Say No !!

Who wants to receive a gift someone else does not want? Re-gifting is a relatively new talked about trend with twenty and thirty-somethings. It must have grown out of our Reality Show and Red Carpet culture of excess and greed of late. Re-gifting is dishonest, lazy, heartless and the gift never seems to be quite right, n'est-ce pas? Yet, everyone is re-gifting and talking about doing it!
Recipients are smart, sophisticated and can smell subterfuge. If ever found out, and the truth always comes out, re-gifting can ruin a friendship and familial ties, not to mention your bosses opinion of you.
Worn boxes and old tape. A calling card hidden in the old tissue paper from the last time the unwanted gift was recycled. A numbered tag left on a wedding present from the last organizational bridal gift kit. A custom made, hand needle pointed purse left on a closet door re-gifted from a different cousin with the well known dog's name and dog's likeness in the design of the purse discovered by the original gift giver during a random house tour. The horror stories go on and on, and are stories of woe from intelligent, professional people who think they can beat the system and somehow fool all of the people all of the time.
Gifts, by tradition, are NOT obligatory. They are by nature given freely from the heart in good conscience without expecting anything in return. Giving someone else a gift you do not want with a big smile on your face signifies to those in the know, or those who will find out, that you do not care enough about the recipient to put any time or thought (never mind money) into a present for them.
Gift giving should be from the heart, so have a heart! If you are short on cash money, make a hand made card and bake something yummy to signify your care and love.
Celebrate what is actually important in life: friends and family. Give your unwanted gifts to charity and the truly needy.

Re-gifting...just say NO !!

Silver Spoons, Champagne and Patina

Born with a sterling silver spoon in your mouth? Have any sterling silver spoons in your sideboard from your wedding or inherited from your grandmother? The following are tips to help you maintain your sterling silver and other uses for spoons!

• Placing a sterling silver spoon in your mouth while chopping an onion will alleviate the stinging and tears from your eyes.
• Placing any spoon (sterling or stainless) into a cold open champagne bottle will keep the bubbles from evaporating, and keeps your champagne fresh!
• Sterling silver ONLY (never silver plate) cleaned with jewelers' rouge and lighter fluid resists tarnish and finger-marks longer than any other method. Be sure to lightly rub the cloth in the same linear direction. Never rub in circles. Do not EVER clean silver plate using this method as it will remove the silver plate.
• Silver wrapped in linen, then in newspaper kept in a clean, dry, cool cabinet will keep well.
• Salt will quickly tarnish silver. For salt stains, rub sterling silver with damp salt.
• Lemon and seafood will also quickly tarnish silver.
• One may wash sterling silver in the dishwasher if a few rules are obeyed. Only use plain detergent and only use one teaspoon of detergent. Never use lemon detergent with sterling silver as the acid from the lemon will tarnish and may pit out the sterling silver. Do not place antique sterling silver knives made before about 1880 in the dishwasher as they may have plaster inside the sterling handles, thus may explode in the dishwasher. Always test one knife first before washing all other knives just in case!
• Lemon detergent is bad for china and crystal as well. It removes the clear glaze over time. Lemon detergent is great for pots and pans only!
• Do not place sterling silver in the same dish cycle with stainless. The two metals do not like each other and you risk pitting out the sterling silver.
• Use the dishwasher's "Gentle" cycle and "Air Dry" cycle only. NEVER use the "Heat" cycle. It is too hot and is bad for your sterling flat silver, fine china and crystal too.
• A little olive oil rubbed over silver before it is put away will prevent it from becoming tarnished. When ready for use, wash it warm soapy water and dry thoroughly.
• Use your sterling every day, wash it in the dishwasher and you will only have to clean it about once a year!
• Tarnished silver can be quickly cleaned with a cloth sprinkled with bicarbonate of soda.
• Purists (like myself) adore sterling with its Patina giving it a luster found only with age. Buffing off the Patina will not only remove its Patina but will remove valuable microns of silver.

Enjoy your old sterling silver...like new!

The Tintinnabulation of Telling The Truth

Can't you just hear the sound of your Mother's voice ringing in your ears to: "Tell the truth." As a child and young person, this practice is preferable as you are under your parents' care and roof.

As a young person, you may see your Mother smile and hear her say hello and continue polite small talk with a woman at the supermarket you know she dislikes. Your Mother tells you this is OK as she does not want to hurt this woman's feelings or have this woman realize she is not liked. You also notice your Uncle Chester says he feels fine when you know he has been sick lately. Your Mother tells you this is OK too as Uncle Chester does not want anyone to know he has been feeling poorly.

Then, you grow up. So, then what? OK, lets recap: Tell the truth but never make anyone else feel bad, embarrass them or let them know your true feelings if it will hurt their feelings. Wait a minute, what about the truth? What happened to telling the truth? Truly, what is the truth?

To help you decipher the truth here are some famous and not so famous quotes:

• "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
• You never find yourself until you face the truth." - Pearl Bailey
• Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." - Albert Einstein
• The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde
• "The truth shall make you free." - Jesus, The Bible, John 8:32
• "Love truth, and pardon error." - Voltaire
• "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain
• "To thine own self be true." - Shakespeare
• "Half of a comment spoken in jest is thought to be a truth by the speaker." - unknown
• "Telling the truth does not make it the right answer."- Katherine Barrett Baker

So, be true to yourself without making anyone else feel bad. It is the greatest balancing act ever and forever on end. If you can accomplish this feat every day, you will probably become a diplomat. What is the definition of a diplomat? One of the definitions of a diplomat is: "Doing nothing and saying nothing nicely." Ruugh Roough...here we go again!

Remember, Friends & Family Are Forever

In Remembrance of September 11, 2001. Never Forget, friends and family are forever.

Cayuga Lake Girls Celebrate The End Of Summer, 1905

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together"

Since the year 1905,

There's been on Cayuga shores,

A jolly bunch of happy girls,

Who are able to use the oars,

The object is to have some fun,

In the very best kind of way,

From early morn 'till setting sun,

They dance the livelong day !

Happy Labor Day!

Napkin Etiquette - Going To A Labor Day BBQ Over The Holiday?

Ever been to a BBQ or Crab Picking at the beach or river where the paper napkins are all covered in butter and sauce and all balled up in a big mess? Then to add insult to injury, gross out icky napkins all balled up placed on the picnic tables while the rest of us are still eating. Yuck!

Yes, BBQ and Crab Pickings are messy, but do you have to be a gooey mess too? No. It takes a bit of labor, but try to treat your paper napkin like a cloth napkin. Use a few napkins and fold them like a cloth napkin. Do not ball them up then place them on top of your paper plate or on top of the table while others are still eating.

If you have made a mess, clean it up, pick it up, then get up from the table and throw away your napkins and plate. You might even ask if anyone wants another iced tea! Return to the table to finish your tea and chat! The persons whom are still eating will appreciate your effort and will enjoy their meal more.

Merci beaucoup! Enjoy the Labor Day Holiday!

20 Years of 20 Questins: Top 10 Dating Tips For Gals

Perusing the SATC2 Website the other day, psychologist and author Pamela Diane King has posted excerpts from her e-book:"10 Dating Lessons From SATC" (the series) and they are as follows:

1. Stalking is not sexy.


2. Technology is not your friend.


3. Throw away your "Perfect Man" list.


4. Drama does not equal passion.


5. Taking a "break" is "guy code" for a break up.


6. Know when to let go.


7. Love can be an addiction.


8. Taking a vacation is the best break up remedy.


9. Love is a roller coaster.


10. The most important relationship you have is with yourself.

After 20 years of 20 questions myself, I thought I would reply to her top ten and post my version:

1. If you are "stalking" someone else, whether in cyberspace or in person, you need to step back, acknowledge your own OCD behavior and move on. Join a gym, a choir at church, take a night class or any other activity to get out more. If someone else is stalking you or sleeping on your doorstep, you need to call the cops and form a working relationship with a police detective.


2. A beau may forgive you for what you have said but you can NEVER unwrite what has been written. Paper letters can be kept and may be shown around, but any negative comment or breaking up with a beau on the Internet sites like Facebook or an E-mail is seen by all and can be sent to everyone instantly, including future employers. Public writing is absolutely powerful and can corrupt absolutely and forever more.


3. The word 'Perfect" is unattainable, unrealistic in every sense and should be stricken from the dictionary. The boundaries and behaviors of love include acceptance, forgiveness and what is a 'deal breaker' in your book.


4. Drama, drama, drama. Drama should be left up on center stage. Some people are addicted to drama and chaos. Manic behavior and chaos are their best friend. They don't know how to live without it and if they do not have it in their lives constantly, they will create it for themselves (and you). This dramatic behavior is also called manic/depressive or bi-polar disorder. All I can say is: RUN. Don't look back. Don't have any regrets, ever. You are much better getting OFF this particular roller coaster.


5. If your beau ever asks you for a "break" from your relationship, you "man up" and break up with him right then and there. What a wuss. Plenty of guys out there. Date a MAN.


6. Know what your "deal breakers" are and stick to them to protect yourself. Sometimes guys behave badly so you will break up with them so they do not have to break up with you. Pay attention to these behaviors. Know when enough is enough.


7. Being in love should not be an addiction. The novelty and newness of falling in love can be an addiction. For example: Elizabeth Taylor, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Mickey Rooney.


8. Vacations are great but not by yourself or when you are feeling blue. Put half of your vacation money in a savings account for yourself, grieve, then when feeling better, treat yourself to a nice lunch somewhere lovely, go shopping and spend half the money on a classic, beautiful accessory you will keep for the rest of your life. For example: a designer purse or scarf, a leather wallet, a well fitting quality leather skirt, pants, boots or belt. A mink scarf or hat. A pair of pearl earrings. Breaking up is a bit like a death. Be kind to yourself every day and treat yourself to little things like a long bath or walk or good book or movie, for a while until you feel better.


9. Dating is a roller coaster. Love should not be a roller coaster. Love is hard work, kindness, forgiveness, patience and compromise.


10. The most important relationship you will ever have IS with yourself. If you do not like yourself and hide from yourself, you will not be happy and no one else will be happy with you either. Why should they be?

Be good to yourself, know your own top 10 tips and enjoy dating!