Tuesday, August 11, 2020

A Paradigm Shift in Society for the New Millennia & Millennials & Sprezzatura!

A paradigm shift is here. Gone are the old European Victorian etiquette & manners of the last Century. Here are the new rules (etiquette) and behaviors (manners) of the new millennium, brought in by the now Millennial generation, coming into a firm adulthood at 30 years of age. Different set of charms. Different set of graces. Different ways of verbal and written communication. Different priorities in their daily lives. Neither better nor worse, because in the end, human nature does not change. It's  just different.

We older generations may not like it. It's not our way. To us it holds no charm. No grace. No trust. Little gratitude. But, Millennials have not grown up like we older ones did. No exploring, playing "Kick the Can" or riding bikes all over the neighborhood with all the nearby kids completely unsupervised until dinner or dark. Millennials have working Moms and have had to have every single activity supervised. After school activities are also supervised whether it be a Dance Class or Lacrosse practice. Weekend activities are supervised too, as are Summer activities.    

Gone are the days of "The customer is always right." Now, one has to chat up any customer service representative and follow their instruction to the "T." No trust shown to the customer. Instead, you, the customer, must prove you are to be trusted. No small talk allowed. No sense of humor allowed. Yet, at the end of each fact only, exhausting 40 minute phone call or in store experience, you may or may not accomplish your task needed. You may have to start all over again with a Supervisor. If you don't follow instruction to their "T", as well, you may be disconnected and have to start over. So, just be ready for a minimum 40 minute phone call, and have all your documents, account numbers and a credit card ready.

We older ones, raised with our Grandparents born with parents from the Victorian Age were taught discretion. Be gentle. Be kind. Don't ever complain. Be diplomatic in your statements about religion and politics. It is rude to give your unsolicited opinion, verbally or in writing. We wrote quite differently that we spoke. No longer. Millennials write just like they talk. The Online world is their Kingdom. Their Universe. They are more insular in their relationships and lives. More introspective. To them, the unsupervised outside world is not to be trusted, so they will tell you Online exactly how they think and exactly how they feel. We older ones may read it or consider it to be rude, but Millennials do not. It's how they operate. It is how they live, and it's their world now.  

All in all, Human nature does not change all that much. We all want to be loved. To be accepted. To be polite. To be liked. To be respectful and respected. We all want that elusive Sprezzatura! To do better. To get along socially and in business. We all want to succeed and be happy for ourselves and our families. We all seek respite from an always changing, ever angry and tough world. 

The important thing to remember about finding happiness today, is to each find our "nitch." Our balance. Life in little increments. Learning from our mistakes and failings. Waking up anew every day and trying to do better. Working on our flaws and listening to family & friends. Forgiving others their sins and cruel behaviors towards us and not worrying about them at all or removing ourselves from those situations. Giving a bad situation or conversation 3 minutes for the other person to vent, then changing direction by politely and diplomatically leaving the conversation or room. 

Life is not easy. It's one thing after another. It is a survival of the fittest world. The more we do every day to stay "fit", the better we will get along and go along. Versatility is the key. Changing direction is crucial. As my brilliant Step-Sister said at age 15: "Accept, adapt, and move on! "

How Not To Be A Tacky Tourist Target

Traveling can be exhilarating, and exhausting! Sometimes, traveling is a bad Murphy's Law adventure you can't control. Don't fret! What you can control is how you blend in, speak to others, react, and behave. Here are some "Do and Don't" tips:

  • DO exchange your currency at your local bank before you travel. Allow 10 days to 2 weeks for this service. You will get the most reliable exchange rate. NEVER exchange currency with anyone on the street.
  • DO speak politely, softly, and slowly so you may blend in to your surroundings and culture. Learn a few "Magic Words" to show respect for the local language (Thank You, Please, You're Welcome) and use these magic words always. 
  • DO wear "casual chic" black or beige plain clothes & dark walking shoes so that you may blend in. NEVER wear a visible "fanny pack" as this item labels you as a tourist. Online Sporting companies  have versatile  travel clothing with hidden zippers, etc. Or, like my Mother, you can safety pin your cash into your underclothes and hide cash inside your shoes.
  • DO dress up a bit with a clean collared shirt, clean shoes, pressed pants or skirt. Dressing up a bit is always better because you can choose to have lunch at The 21 Club (no jeans allowed) or have lunch at The Cotton Club in Mustique (collared shirts required) and have Afternoon Tea at a fancy hotel, or walk into the nicest hotel you have ever seen like you belong, and use their lovely, clean and safe ground floor restroom. Always carry a few small bills for the restroom attendant.
  • DO immerse yourself into local culture, local customs and local cuisine. You may find a new favorite food!
  • DO Pause, look, listen and learn! DO always look for the room exit signs and pick a seat facing the door. Always be aware of an exit strategy. Including the plane, you will have 90 seconds. DO wear covered shoes. Hard to run through darkness, smoke and over broken glass in sandals or flip flops. 
  • DO learn a few "magic words." (Please, Thank You, You're Welcome, May I) The locals will very much appreciate your efforts!
  • DO travel with a small, thin "travel wallet." Only bring ID's & Documents you need. Try to book a room with a safe and place your Passport and some cash inside that safe. Fit your travel wallet into your FRONT pocket, or buy a travel shirt with hidden inside pockets that have zippers. Put some cash in your shoe. Safety pin some cash inside your bra. I have a friend who keeps her "mad money" and lipstick in her cleavage! Ha!
  • DO keep copies of your Passport and Prescriptions in the room safe.
  • DO check out where the local Pharmacy is located. Have the name, phone number & E-mail of your GP at the ready for emergency "E-Script" Prescriptions. 
  • DO Tip the Concierge, the counter Clerk, the Taxi Driver, the Bellman, the Rest Room attendant, and tip when asking for directions. Save up small bills all year to do so. You WILL receive better service and tables! It's amazing! 

  • DO NOT bring fine jewelry or designer purses with you while traveling. This goes for flashy fake jewelry or fake designer purses too. Muggers will not know the difference. NEVER place the strap of the purse or man bag across your neck. ALWAYS hang the strap off of one shoulder. Keep your hand on your purse and zipper in the front covered by your hand. Muggers will knock you to the ground to get the strap off of your body. 
  • Best NOT to travel with any rings, necklaces or watches. Bring only what you can afford to lose. Tuck your modest necklaces in and turn your rings if you choose to wear them. NEVER take your rings off when washing your hands. In 1966, my Grandmother took off her wedding rings in the lovely Ladies' restroom at Saks Fifth Avenue in New York to wash her hands and they were stolen, right from under her eyes! 
  • DO NOT walk down the street looking up at the buildings as you will look like a lost tourist.
  • DO NOT walk down the street eating or drinking. Considered rude!
  • DO NOT yawn, touch your head, fidget or walk with your hands in your pockets.
  • DO NOT talk in slang or tell jokes as they may not translate well.
  • DO NOT talk about politics or religion.
  • DO NOT use hand gestures at all. Many hand gestures are obscene in other countries. Each country differs, but best to stay away from hand gestures all together.
  • DO NOT wear white tennis shoes. Tacky Tourist Target! Wear black tennis shoes if you must.
  • DO NOT wear a "Fanny Pack." Tacky Tourist Target! May as well hand over all your valuables.
  • DO NOT expect Hotel room accommodations to be the same as American Hotels. Space is at a premium in big cities. You are paying for space. 

                    Remember: Blend in! Enjoy local culture, customs, cuisine and conversation!

                  Plan a loose schedule and learn a few "magic words" in the local language.

              Traveling can be stressful, exhausting & confusing.

            Rest, rehydrate and use caution always.