The Tintinnabulation of Telling The Truth

Can't you just hear the sound of your Mother's voice ringing in your ears to: "Tell the truth." As a child and young person, this practice is preferable as you are under your parents' care and roof.

As a young person, you may see your Mother smile and hear her say hello and continue polite small talk with a woman at the supermarket you know she dislikes. Your Mother tells you this is OK as she does not want to hurt this woman's feelings or have this woman realize she is not liked. You also notice your Uncle Chester says he feels fine when you know he has been sick lately. Your Mother tells you this is OK too as Uncle Chester does not want anyone to know he has been feeling poorly.

Then, you grow up. So, then what? OK, lets recap: Tell the truth but never make anyone else feel bad, embarrass them or let them know your true feelings if it will hurt their feelings. Wait a minute, what about the truth? What happened to telling the truth? Truly, what is the truth?

To help you decipher the truth here are some famous and not so famous quotes:

• "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
• You never find yourself until you face the truth." - Pearl Bailey
• Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." - Albert Einstein
• The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde
• "The truth shall make you free." - Jesus, The Bible, John 8:32
• "Love truth, and pardon error." - Voltaire
• "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain
• "To thine own self be true." - Shakespeare
• "Half of a comment spoken in jest is thought to be a truth by the speaker." - unknown
• "Telling the truth does not make it the right answer."- Katherine Barrett Baker

So, be true to yourself without making anyone else feel bad. It is the greatest balancing act ever and forever on end. If you can accomplish this feat every day, you will probably become a diplomat. What is the definition of a diplomat? One of the definitions of a diplomat is: "Doing nothing and saying nothing nicely." Ruugh Roough...here we go again!

Remember, Friends & Family Are Forever

In Remembrance of September 11, 2001. Never Forget, friends and family are forever.

11 Life Rules For Teenagers (And Some Adults)

Last night I read: "11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school" from a speech by Bill Gates. I liked it so much, I am going to incorporate it into our curriculum and thought I'd reproduce it here as follows:

1. Life is not fair - get used to it.
2. The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
3. You will not make $60,000 a year right out of High School. You won't be a Vice-President with a car phone until you earn both.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
6. If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
9. Life is not divided into semesters . You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
10. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

The following are our updated interpretation of the "11 Life Rules" from The Sabot School of Etiquette:

1. Life is not fair. Acknowledge this fact, and move on.
2. The professional working world does not care about your self-esteem. You will be expected to perform and produce at work every day regardless of your self-esteem or health.
3. Chances are you will not make $150,000.00 per year EVER with only a High School degree. Acquiring a marketable skill in today's professional working world is paramount before you will ever earn a vice-presidency, have three cell phones, or a designer car.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, just wait until you get a boss. The boss is not your friend and does not have your best interest at heart. The boss thinks you want his/her job. The boss can be jealous of you, especially if you are a competent and hard worker. The boss has all the power.
5. Flipping burgers or mucking out horse stalls is not beneath your dignity. Your Great-Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping and mucking: they called it opportunity and an honest day of work.
6. If you make mistakes, and make no mistake about it, you will make mistakes, DO NOT whine about it at work or to your friends or family. NO ONE out of school or over the age of about 21 wants to hear about all of your problems. They have their own problems. Learn from your mistakes. Try not to make the same mistakes twice. Change your behavior to change the outcome.
7. Before you came along, your parents were young, just like you are now. You may think they are boring and clueless, however, they have been responsible for your food, room & board, doctor bills, social activities, laundry AND they have been listening to your guff for more than a decade. So, before you worry about saving the planet from the wrath of generations before you, first try cleaning out your closet in your own room.
8. Your school may give every member of the sports team a trophy and give you a second and a third chance at passing an exam, but this practice has nothing to do with life outside of school. You may glide through school not paying much attention to anything and this is fine for school, but once out of school, there is no gliding through life. You cannot glide through paying the rent or mortgage, your job, your marriage, or raising children. In the real world, there are few second chances at anything (for example: first impressions, job interviews, first dates, deadlines, etc.).
9. Life is not school. You do not get summers off from life to go "find yourself." Do that on your own precious time off IF you get any time off. Better still to have found yourself while still in school.
10. Television and movies are NOT real life. There is no Red Carpet, (and even if you do end up on a Red Carpet, no one will take your picture).* In real life, people have to leave the coffee shop and go back to work.
11. Leaders always make others feel special. It ends up being a VERY small world. Be nice to everyone, and especially nerds. You may most likely end up working for one or married to one. Also, you can always tell where someone has been and where someone is going by how they treat the waiter, the taxi driver, their stock broker and their margin clerk, the clerk at the courthouse, the clerk at the retail store and the cashier at the fast food place. Just ask Martha Stewart. **

* While working for a designer in New York, I found myself exiting a limousine, and walking a red carpet in a Haute Couture designer dress, but it never occurred to me the carpet was a "Red Carpet" as my presence was work related. Years later, thinking about it, I remembered the carpet was indeed red, the photographers were waiting but no one took my picture.

** According to quite a few sources in New York, Martha Stewart was rude and mean to EVERYONE. So, when she allegedly broke the law, the powers at be and the underlings around her delighted themselves in making an example out of her. They told what she did, convicted her and sent her to jail.

Cayuga Lake Girls Celebrate The End Of Summer, 1905

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together"

Since the year 1905,

There's been on Cayuga shores,

A jolly bunch of happy girls,

Who are able to use the oars,

The object is to have some fun,

In the very best kind of way,

From early morn 'till setting sun,

They dance the livelong day !

Happy Labor Day!

Napkin Etiquette - Going To A Labor Day BBQ Over The Holiday?

Ever been to a BBQ or Crab Picking at the beach or river where the paper napkins are all covered in butter and sauce and all balled up in a big mess? Then to add insult to injury, gross out icky napkins all balled up placed on the picnic tables while the rest of us are still eating. Yuck!

Yes, BBQ and Crab Pickings are messy, but do you have to be a gooey mess too? No. It takes a bit of labor, but try to treat your paper napkin like a cloth napkin. Use a few napkins and fold them like a cloth napkin. Do not ball them up then place them on top of your paper plate or on top of the table while others are still eating.

If you have made a mess, clean it up, pick it up, then get up from the table and throw away your napkins and plate. You might even ask if anyone wants another iced tea! Return to the table to finish your tea and chat! The persons whom are still eating will appreciate your effort and will enjoy their meal more.

Merci beaucoup! Enjoy the Labor Day Holiday!

20 Years of 20 Questins: Top 10 Dating Tips For Gals

Perusing the SATC2 Website the other day, psychologist and author Pamela Diane King has posted excerpts from her e-book:"10 Dating Lessons From SATC" (the series) and they are as follows:

1. Stalking is not sexy.


2. Technology is not your friend.


3. Throw away your "Perfect Man" list.


4. Drama does not equal passion.


5. Taking a "break" is "guy code" for a break up.


6. Know when to let go.


7. Love can be an addiction.


8. Taking a vacation is the best break up remedy.


9. Love is a roller coaster.


10. The most important relationship you have is with yourself.

After 20 years of 20 questions myself, I thought I would reply to her top ten and post my version:

1. If you are "stalking" someone else, whether in cyberspace or in person, you need to step back, acknowledge your own OCD behavior and move on. Join a gym, a choir at church, take a night class or any other activity to get out more. If someone else is stalking you or sleeping on your doorstep, you need to call the cops and form a working relationship with a police detective.


2. A beau may forgive you for what you have said but you can NEVER unwrite what has been written. Paper letters can be kept and may be shown around, but any negative comment or breaking up with a beau on the Internet sites like Facebook or an E-mail is seen by all and can be sent to everyone instantly, including future employers. Public writing is absolutely powerful and can corrupt absolutely and forever more.


3. The word 'Perfect" is unattainable, unrealistic in every sense and should be stricken from the dictionary. The boundaries and behaviors of love include acceptance, forgiveness and what is a 'deal breaker' in your book.


4. Drama, drama, drama. Drama should be left up on center stage. Some people are addicted to drama and chaos. Manic behavior and chaos are their best friend. They don't know how to live without it and if they do not have it in their lives constantly, they will create it for themselves (and you). This dramatic behavior is also called manic/depressive or bi-polar disorder. All I can say is: RUN. Don't look back. Don't have any regrets, ever. You are much better getting OFF this particular roller coaster.


5. If your beau ever asks you for a "break" from your relationship, you "man up" and break up with him right then and there. What a wuss. Plenty of guys out there. Date a MAN.


6. Know what your "deal breakers" are and stick to them to protect yourself. Sometimes guys behave badly so you will break up with them so they do not have to break up with you. Pay attention to these behaviors. Know when enough is enough.


7. Being in love should not be an addiction. The novelty and newness of falling in love can be an addiction. For example: Elizabeth Taylor, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Mickey Rooney.


8. Vacations are great but not by yourself or when you are feeling blue. Put half of your vacation money in a savings account for yourself, grieve, then when feeling better, treat yourself to a nice lunch somewhere lovely, go shopping and spend half the money on a classic, beautiful accessory you will keep for the rest of your life. For example: a designer purse or scarf, a leather wallet, a well fitting quality leather skirt, pants, boots or belt. A mink scarf or hat. A pair of pearl earrings. Breaking up is a bit like a death. Be kind to yourself every day and treat yourself to little things like a long bath or walk or good book or movie, for a while until you feel better.


9. Dating is a roller coaster. Love should not be a roller coaster. Love is hard work, kindness, forgiveness, patience and compromise.


10. The most important relationship you will ever have IS with yourself. If you do not like yourself and hide from yourself, you will not be happy and no one else will be happy with you either. Why should they be?

Be good to yourself, know your own top 10 tips and enjoy dating!