Celebrating Cousins, The Preakness, And A Fille

   We Americans celebrate most everything all the time. Visiting cousins, feasting on steamed crab and champagne at the kitchen table on a Thursday night. A black-eyed Susan pre-Preakness party to benefit Breast Cancer, and a rockin' country breakfast complete with mimosas to celebrate the birth of a fille.
   Yesterday, with two cousins and their 19 year old daughter, Svetlana, who we call Sveta, I helped bring a baby horse, a fille, into this world. Neatest thing I've done since being 5th row at The Rolling Stones!
   The early morning began with the muffled voice of my cousin Mary: "Sveta, get up. Ken called and said it's time." Mary's voice was nearing our room, and I could hear in her voice her nerves and an urgency, yet she has such a warm, calm tone in her words. "We need to go now. Right now." Kathy, it's time."
    Anticipating this birth, I had taken my wedding rings off the night before and had laid my girl jeans and L.L. Bean "Rain Skimmer" shoes out, just in case. I rumbled down the stairs, ran out the door and down to the running shed. Apparently, I went the long way as I did not hear Mary and Sveta behind me. I jumped the fence as I did not have time to figure out where the gate was located. One slip on skimmer shoe got stuck in the mud and I had to circle around briefly to get it back on my size 11 foot.
   There she was, a beautiful black mare laying on her side fully "in foal" on the soft hay. Mary ran to her head to keep her calm, and got on her cell phone to call two friends who also happened to be obstetrics nurses anxious to see the birth.
  Looking down, I saw that the sac was sticking out. This birth had begun.
   Above the bubble at the base of the opaque sac, were what looked like her hooves. At this point I could hear Ken saying: "O.K., Sveta and Kathy, I need you guys to take hold of the legs and pull. Pull down." Petite and pretty, silent Sveta was standing in the middle between Ken and myself. I gently found room and placed my hands around baby's legs and began to pull. Ken quickly and kindly said: " Not there with your left hand, Kathy, that's the nose." I quietly gasped and immediately placed my hand at the top of the cannon bone where there was room. I could now see the faint outline of the foal, her hooves and nose positioned to pounce out into the world, then heard a pop. The sac was broken. Ken asked: "Was that a pop?" "Yes, I answered, still pulling. I hoped baby had oxygen, but I did not know for sure. One thing I did know for sure was that this foal needed to come out, as any baby cannot be in the birth canal for too long and survive.
  The three of us were now pulling with every pound of energy we possessed. Ken kept instructing us in his firm but focused voice to: "Pull Down" (due to the curved shape of baby and how it exits the birth canal). I could hear the strain of Ken's voice and sighs. Suddenly, the mare lifted her head up and made motions with her body and feet. She was fixing to stand up. Mary gasped: "She's standing up!" And so she was.
   We scurried to stand up and re-positioned ourselves then started pulling down, again. More straining and stressing with all our collective strength. It seemed to happen in slow motion but went on forever. All sounds seemed muted to my ears as I was so concentrated on the task at hand. Pulling down using every muscle and all of our body weight, gasping for breath, grunting with frustration. The vibe of urgency was rising in the air. I could hear it in Ken's rapidly repeated instruction: "Keep pulling down."
   Thinking something had to change, perhaps another direction, I raised my right hand and slowly, very gently pressed my palm flat against the mare's labia majora and pushed it up. My intention was to try to widen and loosen the muscle so baby had more room to slip through. Maybe baby moved a bit, I could not tell, so I tried it again. Maybe the mare felt the pressure and pushed back with her vulva muscle. Maybe the mare had a contraction. Maybe all the pulling finally worked. All I know is, in that mere moment, the foal came out with a plunk onto the soft hay. Miraculously, the running shed reminded me of a manger.
   One moment to relax our arms, relief and a sigh, then suddenly, the Mare started stomping her right hind leg. I grabbed it under the carpus to keep her from stomping on the baby. Ken put his arms around the baby and scooted her out of the way. Mary calmed the mare.
   We all stood silent, agape and in awe of the newness of this new life and series of firsts for this fille. We witnessed the opening of her dark black eyes seeing also her long eyelashes for the first time. How her sleek wet ears popped up and she lifted her head looking at all of us. Mary crept slowly over to examine the baby. She's a girl! Mary showed me her dermal papillae or "fingers" at the base of her hooves that all baby horses are born with, but that go away soon after birth once they stand up and start running around. We were, all of us, smitten with this little fille. She was beautiful and perfect, like a rare, black diamond. What a jewel! On Preakness race day, none-the-less!
    Life is filled with celebrations and blessings. We should appreciate good days, new experiences, our energy, and having our health. Of course, all horses cannot be Preakness winners, but this new fille has instantly, unconditionally, and forever championed our hearts.

Different China Place Settings From Different Grandmothers is Great!

   Recently, an article in the Neiman Marcus Blog, the NM Daily, entitled: Table of the Elements about mixing up your china appeared on my Facebook page. Apparently, using 72 pieces of the same matching china set is "out." I always thought the matching, preppy Papagallo Syndrome went out with the Reagan '80's. Retail reinventing itself once again to sell more stuff. Nothing new.
   Single in the city for 20 years, I have been mixing up my 5 sets of incomplete china from 2 grandmothers and a great-grandmother for years because I had it, it was free, it was pretty and each time I used it, I thought of my relatives!
   A friend of my Sister's has a grandmother famous for her eclectic Thanksgiving table as each of her 12 place settings are completely different china settings. Not even complimentary. Different kaolin from different continents, different designs and colors, different china companies. Each guest gets his or her own individual, special place setting of china, crystal stemware and sterling flatware. Brilliant!
   John Loring of Tiffany & Company (the lucky man who writes all those coffee table books), says that Joanne Woodward once told him having eclectic china from grandmothers means you have a background. It gives you a history of family, which is interesting!
   Yes, you may put your china in the dishwasher but you MUST use only 1 teaspoon of PLAIN detergent, gentle cycle and NO HEAT DRY. Lemon in detergents are excellent for pots and pans. However, the acidic lemon eats off the glaze on china, crystal and will eat off the gold rim as well. Heat also weakens and can crack your porous china. The water is hot enough, even on the gentle cycle. Always "Air Dry," and you'll save energy. Load and unload your china nicely. Do not crowd.
   You may place your table settings on the exposed wooden table, but you will have little scratches called patina on the wood with normal use over time. For antique tables, this may be desirable, but for modern wood or Formica tables, this may not be good.  Also, food particles and any moisture or water marks will leave stains on your table finish and may ruin the table. Instead, use a simple white or ecru tablecloth to protect the table and show off your pretty china.
  Your  Grannies' eclectic china, crystal and flat silver is always "in" and will be chic for years to come.

Take care of your family's history and enjoy!  

Movie Extra Work Requires Sprezzatura

   As a retired Retail Manager having worked 14 hour days (on average), 6-7 days a week since I was 25, I thought being a movie "extra" would be work, but easier than Retail work, and fun. Wow, was I ever almost not ready for a exhilarating workout!
   "Extra" work is much more physically demanding than I physically imagined. Even "extras" must remain poised, bright, smiling and "on" while appearing relaxed and enjoying themselves. Talk about Sprezzatura*! 
    Commuting downtown, parking, shuttling to the location, followed by 2 hours of costume and makeup, hair, then more waiting for the "techies" to make final tweaks for the scene to be set up, only then to stand in 3" heels for more than 10 hours with 1 (one) 1/2 hour break after 6 hours, (according to Union rules), is exhilarating and exhausting. An unforgettable happy day!
   The scaffolding for the "techies", the cords, the tape, and the amazing cameras are many, huge and complex. A bit awesome to behold. The blocking of the shots that made it to the final cut of the Harvest Ball scenes are so very "tight" (close up) showing the movie stars off nicely, but not the real local stars of the movie.
   It was a shame the Director did not pull the camera just a bit back to capture more of the beautiful clothing, and the most unusual, exotic interior of the Victorian, High Gothic, Old City Hall building and its famous bottled glass tiled floor.
   It was also a shame the Director did not light up the 15 second exterior shot of the Harvest Ball to better show off the Historic Bolling-Haxall House and its gorgeous Brownstone exterior and the original ironwork fence and foliage.
   As a 50 year old extra, running up the large old cement exterior stairs, then back down for an immediate "reset", at least 40 times in 3" heels and party dress for 2 1/2 hours was tiring. I was out of breath toward the end of the shoot. Thank goodness for years of being a runner. One never knows in "Hollywood" what natural gifts, talents, bar tricks and hobbies which may come in handy during any particular shoot.
   Richmond, the local star of the movie, is indeed fortunate to have had, in large part thanks to Elizabeth Scott Bocock, a star preservationist and philanthropist, many historic buildings and properties preserved for all to enjoy, in the here and now and on the big screen.
   Extras do have an unspoken, unwritten etiquette to observe, and with a little luck, all their hard work will not all end up on the cutting room floor. Richmond is ready for its close up, Mr. DeMille!!

Enjoy the movie Unanswered Prayers on the Lifetime Network!

*Sprezzatura is an Italian word from the Book of the Courtier (year 1528) meaning one who is " to practise in everything a certain nonchalance that shall conceal design and show that what is done and said is done without effort and almost without thought."

Royal Wedding Etiquette and Traditions - Oh Jolly Good!!

The Queen thinks Royal Wedding Etiquette is so important, Buckingham Palace has issued to each of the 1900 guests invited to the Royal wedding and catering staff, a 22 page "Etiquette Book." This book gently instructs gentleman and ladies on behaviours from appropriate dress to eye contact to cell phone and Twitter non-usage. I have also added a few general, cultural differences. Some of the rules of etiquette are as follows:

• Gentleman must remove their top hats while in church.
• Gentleman must wear a "Morning Suit," "Lounge Suit," or Formal Military Dress.
• Ladies must dress appropriately for church. This rule includes covering one's shoulders, wearing a hat to cover one's head and not wearing anything garish or to garner attention.  It is the Bride's day. This rule also includes not wearing white or cream coloured clothing. Pants Suits are frowned upon.
• Americans are not required to bow or curtsy as the Queen walks by, but may do so out of respect. Ladies, place your right ankle behind your left ankle and dip at the knee, arms at your sides and bow your head slightly.  Gentleman, bend your elbow and place your hand, palm in, at your waist. Bend slightly at the waist and bow your head slightly.  
• Do Not touch the Queen.
• Do Not shake the Queen's hand unless she holds her hand out first to shake your hand.
• Do Not speak to the Queen unless she speaks to you first.
• If the Queen addresses you first, answer her ending your first response with "Your Majesty." End your second response with "Ma'am" to rhyme with "jam." 
•  Needless to say, turn OFF your cell phone.
• Do Not take photos of the queen as she passes by with your cell phone either. Enjoy the moment instead of holding the camera in the Queen's face as she walks in front of you. 
• Do Not update your Facebook status.
• Do Not Tweet.
• Keep your hands at your sides when standing. Gentleman, keep your hands out of your pockets. Europeans consider this act rude. 
• Do Not make any gestures with your hands. In Europe, the "O.K." and "Thumbs Up" hand gestures have very different meanings, and these hand gestures are extremely insulting and rude. 
• Do Not gobble up food and gulp up drink at the Reception, and for goodness sakes, Do Not get drunk.
• Catering Staff: when serving Royalty and guests, Do Not look at them. Do not talk to them. Appear and disappear discretely and silently. 
• Hold the champagne glass properly, by the stem.

Read up on your European Etiquette in general and Enjoy the Day!

Resume Do's and Don'ts

   Your resume should serve as a snapshot of your professional life dotted with a glimpse of your personal life, just like your Facebook Profile. It should also be only 1 page.
   I once temped for Philip Morris's Human Resources Department. They had 5-6 round 48" tables filled with 1 foot high stacks of resumes covering each tabletop, and that was just what had come in that week. All I did all week long was open resumes and sort. So please, If the CEO of IBM can have a 1 page resume, so can you.
   Leave out a few minor details so you have something to talk about during the interview. Like Poker, you do not want to show all your cards at once.
   Keep references and the corresponding phone numbers current. Be concise and to the point. Hit spell check, but remember, spell check is not the 'do all, be all, end all.' Also, have a friend check for spelling, punctuation and grammar.
   Most importantly, be yourself. Arrive near your location an hour before your appointment. Walk around the building. Walk around the lobby. Listen to those around you and try to figure out if the company you want to work for is right for you!! Yes, they must think you are a good fit and like you, but you must like them too!

    

Miracle of the Week in the Country

   Last Saturday night, my husband and I took our cocktails, got in the car and drove out into the middle of our field to look at the full moon, blasting Bruce Springstein "The Boss," of course! According to the weather man, the moon was 30% brighter and 16% larger than usual. Still about the size of my thumb nail though.
   Fun and simple way to spend a Saturday night. Somtimes "simpler is better" and more fun! How do you spend your leisure time?   Enjoy!

"Smarmy" Entitlement Genration Behavior Of The Day

   Today at Whole Foods, using my 3 recyclable bags, my seemingly happy, chatty, preppy cashier asked me if I wanted to donate my .15 cents credit towards their "So-in-so" charity. I replied: "Sure." She then proceeded to hand me 3 porous, wooden chips to place into a designated charity bin. I guess the management came up with this procedure for the customers so they feel better about spending their whole paycheck at Whole Foods. Anyway, I nicely explained to the cashier I had just gotten over a cold and did not want to transmit germs to anyone, and invited her to take the chips over to the charity bin. Her expression changed to a disgusted
look and she slammed the chips down into a bowl on top of her register and made a "tisk" sound with her mouth. I thanked her and walked away.
   30 years ago when I was starting out in retail, if I glanced at a customer the wrong way or breathed on a customer the wrong way, I would have been fired on the spot for insubordination. I realize every generation thinks the younger generations are ruder than they were,but it seems like we have now entered into a society of incivility. Being civil costs nothing. Incivility used to cost your business millions. Now, I guess we all just put up with incivility, but it sure takes the fun out of the day sometimes!