After School Special Story Regarding Pennies and a "Secretaries' Week" Luncheon

In college, I worked as a waitress for lunch and as a hostess for dinner during the summers at a very high end seafood restaurant. I picked up a few valuable etiquette tips while waiting on one particular table of ladies during Secretaries' Week in the summer of 1981. The ladies called ahead of time to make a reservation for eleven, which is the best thing I can say about the following experience waiting on these nice, well intended women.
The table of eleven arrived 25 minutes late. It was raining. After being seated, they then changed their minds and wanted their raincoats, hats and umbrellas checked. So, I checked each coat and accessory for each lady and brought each lady the coat check chit. Everyone had multiple special menu requests during and after their individual orders: no croutons, dressing on the side, no dressing, extra dressing, no onions, no bacon, extra bacon, no eggs, and they were only ordering salads to have as their meal. This complicated meal of only salads and tap water went on and on for 2 1/2 hours.
Finally, just when I thought the meal was over, someone at the table took a cake out of a box they had quietly brought into the restaurant! Politely, I brought out a serving knife, plates and forks for the cake. Then the gift bags and presents appeared! Birthday wishes. Birthday singing. Birthday toasts (with the table water). Coffee was ordered. Regular and Decaf. Extra cream. More cream. No cream. Pink packets of sugar everywhere! More coffee refills. More creamer. More pink packets. At this point, I was seeing pink!
My Mother and Sister came into the restaurant in the middle of my waiting on this busy table to surprise me and eat lunch. As I served them and as they enjoyed their lunch, my Mother watched as I tirelessly, politely and patiently waited, waited and waited on these nice, well intending women.
One woman at the table then asked for eleven separate checks. Each lady had 1 salad and 1 cup of coffee. Each tab was brought to the table separately, and I brought each tab to the cashier, then returned the tab with change, and exited. Then, the long discussion ensued regarding the tip. Unknown to these ladies, my Mother, still sitting at the next table, was listening! How much should they each leave to the nice young girl for the tip? Yes, it was 1981 and prices were different. The large salads were about $4.95. The coffee was around .95 cents. The ladies had a nice time and thanked me upon leaving.
My tip totaled .11 cents for each separate customer. I thought my tip at almost 15%, was fine. My Mother had a different opinion. One dime and one penny placed at each place for 2 1/2 hours of hard work. Also, leaving a penny on the table as part of a tip??

My Mother heard this and thought she would burst! Leaving a penny on the table is rude! It is considered to be a terrible insult in Europe. It signifies that the service was more than insufficient, rather, horrible. Leaving a penny on the table is frowned upon even within the restaurant business in the USA. It is also considered to be bad luck for those who are superstitious.
No coat check tip was left, at all.
My tip, I thought, was sufficient, until my Mother spoke up after these ladies had gone. She had the following tips for me (and suggestions for the day manager) which still apply today:

• One of the Ladies should have assumed the responsibility of group leader or hostess.
• Coats and accessories should have all been checked upon arrival and the coat check tip should have been taken care of ahead of time.
• The party should have arrived on time.
• One check should have been agreed upon before the meal began. The Group leader should have paid with one credit card ahead of time, then settled up with each lady afterwards.
• The tip should have been paid by the group leader in hand to the waitress and not left on the table in change form.
• Pennies should never be left on the table as part of a tip for any reason, ever!
• The tip should have been at least 18% - 20% as it was a large table of eleven persons and because this table took up the entire lunch time.
• Menu extras, exceptions, additions and subtractions should have been stated as each order was placed.
• Bringing a Birthday Cake into the restaurant should have never been done. Also, what an insult to the chef and management of the restaurant!
• The birthday bows, wrapping paper, boxes and tissue paper should have been cleaned up by the group leader, not left all over the place for the waitress to clean up.

Take charge, plan a bit and make your office luncheon nice for everyone! Thanks Mom!!

More Helpful Household Tips

More cleaver and frugal tips for ever household. Did y'all know:

• Vinegar and Rubbing alcohol together in a spray bottle will clean a shower?
• Place an aspirin tablet inside a wooden cabinet or wooden drawer and it will absorb any moisture.
• Boiling a scored orange will get rid of any kitchen odors and will leave the entire house smelling great!
• Peanut Butter will get chewing gum out of long hair.
• Substitute mayonnaise instead of vegetable oil the next time you make a batch of brownies and they will be the best tasting brownies ever! Yum!

Enjoy these cleaver tips and save!

Unintended Consequences of Free Speech Without Also Teaching Tolerance

Unintended consequences from our behavior, whether it be well intended or not. Consequences with well meaning government programs. Consequences of War. Consequences on the Internet, Talk Radio and 24 hour Cable News, especially with, as I like to call it, "Talk TV."
The well intending producers of these 24 hour cable news shows want the "Talking Heads" fighting with their guests because it raises ratings. High ratings mean more money.
Remember The Jerry Springer Show from many years ago? His was the first TV show that raised its ratings because his guests were regularly paid extra by producers not to simply fight with words, but to take punches at each other with their fists.
Fighting with fists or fighting with words, well intended or not, this 24 hour bickering is seeping into our psyche and society, daily behaviors, and the little ways we treat each other. What happened to the Puritan, Christian valued society of our founders?
We are now an "either/or" society. Everyone voicing their opinions on Facebook, Twitter, Internet blogs, radio, etc. Nothing wrong with free speech, but, does it have to be so angry? Also, when did we figure we had to be on one side or the other? Why do we have to say Merry Christmas OR Happy Holidays? Why can't we say Merry Christmas to our Christian friends AND Happy Holidays to our non-Christian friends? Why one side OR the other? Why not BOTH? Have we become so ETHNOCENTRIC?
The unintended consequence of our bickering combined with the changing face of America, is that we are entering into an uncivil society, as we have not been teaching tolerance. Free speech with tolerance. We CAN agree to disagree.

How to be a Successful Internationalist, Not an "Ugly American"

We share the planet with 6 Billion people who speak 6,000 different languages along with all those foreign cultural differences and customs. Americans are known around the world as ETHNOCENTRIC, meaning we know only about our own culture, and do not demonstrate any interest in learning about other cultures. We are also known for only speaking English, and expecting everyone else to speak English. Like in the movies, if they do not understand us, we just start speaking slower and louder.


The "Ugly American" traveler. They make us wince, whinny and purse our lips while breathing in! We've all seen them and their circus antic behavior. Their louder than life voice levels, like listening to stock boys talking about the night before at the grocery store. Their packed fanny packs around their already rotund waists. Their ill fitting, badly fashioned shorts and un tucked shirts. Do not even get me started on those dirty, icky running shoes, although these people look as though they have not 'run' in quite a while. What to do? What to do?



The following are a few tips to help all who wish to be fabulous travelers. I'll throw in a few fine fashionista tips too!

Good mistakes from trying are better than bad mistakes from not trying. Good mistakes include:

• Knowing a few "magic words" in their language (may I, thank you, please) as well as a few necessary phrases and trying to speak the language thus showing respect.
• Mispronunciation of their language (unless in Paris).
• Being aware of and trying their customs (handshaking, bowing, eye contact, stance).
• Being aware of their culture, trends and taboos and trying to blend into their culture (fashion, mass transportation, religion, gift giving, flowers).
• Being aware of their local cuisine and trying their food and specialties in every restaurant and street cart and at every meal, (save the visit to McDonald's for home).
• Eating in the style everyone else eats (Continental Style in Europe, chop sticks in Asia, right hand in the Middle East.)

To be a Successful Internationalist:

• Please know the name of the President or Prime Minister.
• Please know the political system.
• Be aware of the language(s) spoken.
• Know the official name of the country.
• Know the collective name for its people.

To be further successful:

• Show respect always.
• Be considerate always.
• Remain non-judgemental in attitude.
• Remain open-minded to all situations.
• Observe, ask and listen

To be successful with your fashion:

• Leave the college jeans, sloppy shorts and dirty tennis shoes at home.
• For young ladies, new, nicely fitted, fancy "girl jeans" may be an exception....
• Ladies, please pay attention to local fashion and possible religious customs such as in the Middle East.
• For ladies, jersey fabric is light, looks good, needs no ironing and travels splendidly!
• Ladies, a light floral long scarf or plain pashmina is a great accessory tied around your neck, waist or purse and warm cover up for the plane.
• Always remove hats, sunglasses and gloves when inside.
• Never shake hands with your other hand in your pocket and gentlemen, please keep your hands out of your pockets.
• Gentlemen always wear long pants in the evening and especially anywhere for dinner.

Any library or bookstore will have travel books. Please peruse them, read them, take notes.

A modicum of planning will be immeasurably helpful to your traveling manners.

Bon chance et Au Revoir, y'all!

How Girls Fight and Wise Words from Wise People to Live By Ever Day

My Mother has always said: "Girls fight with words," and do they ever. Today's girls also apparently fight with technologies, such as texting.
My brilliant suite-mate from college has a twelve year old entrepreneurial daughter who has a successful blog of her own: The Success Princess. She is well written and wise beyond her years, does not watch television, is polite and plays the violin. Yesterday, she was caught up in one of her first "Girl Dramas" at her school. Remember 6th grade?
Her best friend apparently sent her a text accusing this lovely twelve year old, The Success Princess, of calling her the "B" word to another mutual friend. Texting girl drama!
Earlier last year, I quoted what a wise woman of the world said, and here are these words again:
"If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend your years building, someone may destroy overnight, build it anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give the world the best you have got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa

I keep this saying on my kitchen window and read it when not needed and read it more when needed.
Also, I think it was Churchill that said something like:
"Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up!"

Mean is mean. What To Do When A Bully Bullies.

Mean is mean. Period. Bullies are basically unhappy people. Bullies want to make themselves feel superior, so they put others down to feel better about themselves. Coy remarks to you in front of others. Coded comments to you on Facebook. Smart remarks on the telephone. Laughing behind your back. Laughing with another person in front of your face. Outright insults to your face. What to do....what to do?
My wise husband always says, the first person who talks, looses. Other than on "Talk TV News," where one has to yell over the other person or you "loose" the interview, this is so true. Remember, it is harder to be the bully than to be yourself.
So, my best advise is:

1. Stick to the facts if you must talk, answer politely only in monosyllables, and just do your best to stay away from the bully.
2. Remove yourself from the situation figuratively or literally. Be aways busy. Be self-directed and find projects to work on. Be engrossed in a book or newspaper, rather than fiddling with your cell phone if in the same lunch room or social situation, because people feel less intimidated to interrupt someone fiddling with e-mail or twittering on computers or phones. Or, if you can, leave the room. Be busy somewhere else.
3. If in a restaurant on a bad date, go to the restroom, go outside to make an "important" phone call, go outside for a smoke even if you don't smoke. Excuse yourself to the restroom and leave the restaurant/club. Call for a cab home. Say you have a headache, or don't feel well. Anything to get away from the bad situation and bully.
4. If the bully is your boss at work, may as well just start looking for a department transfer or a new job. Nothing worse than a bully for a boss, and it will never get any better, because the bully is, after all, your boss. In this case, the boss will always have the last word. Nothing to do about it. Be always polite, keep your nose to the grindstone, look for a new job and tell NO ONE, then leave your current job with the bully boss for your new job. Too much of your life is spent at work to allow your bully boss to tear you up, the spit you out anyway.
5. If the bully is a co-worker, do your best to stay away from the bully and the main rule applies. Do not let them draw you into a conversation. Be busy around them. Try never to be alone with the bully.
6. Always be polite to the bully. If they say something mean, do not reply. Let the mean comment hang out there in the air, especially if in a room with others. Just let the mean comment lay.
7. If the bully is a social bully, say on a committee or in a book club with you, sit far away from the bully. Look for another book club. Get on another committee. No sense spending your valuable leisure time miserable.
8. There is no sense fighting with a bully because it is what they want. If you engage wit them, they will drag you down into their world with them. Not where you want to be.

Do not be a victim. Stand up for yourself and empower yourself by removing yourself from the situation.

Homespun Homeopathic Recipes For Your Epithelium

How much of your hard earned money do you spend per year on skin care products? Do you buy specific products at the grocery store or spend your lunch money on those fancy cosmetic counter products?

Everyone knows, Epithelial cells, or the skin, referred to as the Integumentary System, is the largest organ in your body! While a diet of many fresh fruits and vegetables keep your skin glowing from the dermis down, here are some tips to keep your skin glowing on the top layers! Pamper yourself instead with the following common products easily found in any home:

• Smash 2 bananas and mix in 1 pat of butter in a bowl. Add a ripe avocado and mix. Smear on your face as a mask and leave for 20 minutes.
• Spritzing a bit of baby oil in a warm bath and soaking for 15 minutes will soften your dry skin anytime.
• Be careful with bath salts. Their aroma is appealing, but they tend to dry one's skin.
• To exfoliate your skin, place a mixture of lemon and sugar on your skin and rub into your skin.
• Another exfoliation remedy is mixing Cheerios, honey and lemon on your skin.
• A whipped egg white placed on your face for 10 minutes will act as a mask and revitalize your skin.
• Chop a cucumber and place into an ice tray (no water needed) and freeze into cubes. Place cubes below eyes and let the cubes melt.
• A fantastic eye makeup remover is plain old petroleum jelly! Try it!

These homespun recipes work well, so pamper yourself frugally and save your lunch money for lunch!