Addendum to Boiling Antique Linens in Milk and Soap Mixture

From my book: Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together.

Dear Carrie,
I wish I were a tea-cup,
So when you drink tea,
At every little mouthful,
You will sometimes think of me.

Your Classmate,
Beulah W. Kennedy
June 21, 1906

Lots of y'all with yellowed antique linens out there! As an addition to the milk and soap method listed on our last post (#1, 3-3-2010), y'all may want to try a few alternative methods.

I used to wash my horses with a product called Orvus, found at Southern States. It is what Curators use on all antique textiles.

Also, some experts suggest using Clorox 2, rinsing immediately with warm water as the Clorox will break down the proteins and tannins in the linen, but this is not my favorite method. Twenty-five years ago, I soaked my great-grandmother's tablecloth in Clorox and cold water overnight in the bathtub. It is a French linen and lace tablecloth and it had not been touched in 40 years and was severely discolored brown. It cleaned up beautifully, but now, after many uses and gentile washings, the tablecloth is sprouting small holes and disintegrating a bit, which I regret, but I have used it quite a few times a year for the past 25 years.

Then again, I use my linens lots. I suppose it depends on how often you use your linens and how long you want to keep them or if you have a desire to pass them down to future generations.

Never, never use Woolite. It contains formaldehyde, among many other chemicals and oils. As shocking as it may sound, Woolite is the first product in Fashion School the professors tell you to avoid on ALL fabrics.

When you think about it, linen is nothing but flax. Wild grasses. So be gentile. As always, NEVER try a new method on your favorite, most treasured, great-grandmother's heirloom. PLEASE, test each new method on a small, "NOT your favorite", item.

Be careful, be gentile and enjoy!

More Household Tips To Save Money & Time

The most popular post I run.....for good reason! Save cash and time with one quick read. Enjoy!

A few tips from the book: Labour-Saving Hints and Ideas for the Home, 1924

1. If your antique white linen tablecloths or napkins have turned yellow from not being used, cut up 1 lb. of plain, unscented, white soap into 1 gallon of milk. Boil the mixture and when the soap is melted, add the linen and boil all for 1/2 hour. Then, take the linen out and wash it in a lather of soapy water. Rinse well twice in two batches of cold water. Gently wring out. Lay out, fold and roll linen into a size about 10" long, that will fit into a large plastic bag. Place in the refrigerator overnight, or for 2 days to dry out and get cold.


2. To press the crispest, most professional linen you have ever seen, take the rolled linen in the plastic bags out of the fridge the next morning (or a day later) and spread the linen out on an ironing board. Put the iron on its hottest setting. Simply iron the line. The iron will sputter and steam will rise. Don't be alarmed, but do be amazed at how nice the linen will press out!


3. Sweeten the stale sell of smoke from a fireplace overnight with a bucket of water in the room and shut the door. The next morning the air will be cleared and clean. Or, just sprinkle some dried coffee grounds directly onto the red hot cinders and the smell will vanish.
4. To keep apples for Winter use after picking in the Fall: layer the apples into bins and cover them completely with dry sand. Each layer should be covered. This preserves them from air, moisture and from frost.
5. To clean an antique flask: put some crushed egg shells and vinegar in the bottom of the flask. Shake well. Fill half the flask with water. Let it stand for a while. Shake again, empty, then rinse thoroughly. Turn the flask upside down and let dry. When bone dry, put away, but do not replace the cork as this may make the flask musty.
6. To keep vegetables fresher for longer, wash and clean them well in warm water.The warm water will rid the vegetables of any bugs. Dry them on paper towels. Place each separate type of vegetable in a zip lock bag surrounded in fresh paper towels. Stack and roll the lettuce. Replace the paper towels every few days or after each use. In the vegetable bin, your vegetables should keep for one week or longer.
7. Want to know the secret for telling if an egg is rotten before you crack it? Hold it up to the light. If it is fresh, it will be quite clear. If the egg is cloudy, it is stale.
8. To make fresh apple juice for the summer: Put one tart apple well baked and mashed into one pint of boiling water. One apple per one pint. Beat well, cool and strain. Add a little sugar. It is a nice cooling drink.
9. To clean paint brushes: wash in turpentine, followed by soda water. Rinse in clear water and shape with the fingers. Dry with the bristles standing up.
10. When trying to dye a bridal veil to look antique, soak the veil in a bathtub filled with cold water and cold coffee. Using coffee rather than tea will dye the veil evenly. Tea tends to dye unevenly.

Enjoy!

20 Tips for Tough Times

From my book: Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together.

May your joys be as deep as the ocean,
And your sorrows as light as its foam.
Your loving friend,
Hortense
January 29, 1905

The photo is of the Atlantic Ocean at Rockaway Park, 1908.

We all go through bad days, bad weeks, bad years at a time. As a single gal for 20 years, I found myself many times minus a roommate, in between jobs, without a job, with three jobs (workaholic), without a boyfriend, and at 32, after being bed ridden for 2 years, I lost my Father to Emphysema.

Whether suddenly out of a job or suffering through the death of a loved one, the following are twenty tips (in no particular order) that have helped me through tough times, so hopefully will help you, dear reader.

1. If you cannot figure out who you are, figure out who you are NOT. Figuring out who you are NOT is half the battle. Make a list of your personal strengths/weaknesses on a legal pad. Argue both sides of your case, thinking as a lawyer would think. Write down a person or people you most admire. Seek out a counselor, physiologist or minister/rabbi, if you have the need.


2. Take care of yourself and your daily needs. Your body is your temple. Take that shower. Brush your teeth and shave. Tuck your shirt in and shine your shoes. Take pride in your appearance. If you can no longer afford that hair appointment, go to the local cosmetology school for an inexpensive haircut. If you cannot afford a new suit to look for a job, seek out a Goodwill store, local charitable organization specializing in business clothes, or vintage clothing store. Vintage is chic! You will be amazed at the fashion you can find.


3. Everyone needs to have a night out and "blow it out" every now and again. Have one or two nights out with friends and indulge. Be always with your group or buddy. Have a nice glass of wine with a good meal and interesting conversation. Sing and dance. Enjoy yourself. Be safe. Be careful, though. Do not make an occasional indulgence a habit. We all know healthy behaviors from bad, unhealthy behaviors. It is easier and seemingly more fun for some people to hide from their own thoughts and themselves by consistently indulging in bad behaviors, thus, running away from themselves and their circumstances. Just know, if you choose this lifestyle, do not expect to drag everyone else into it with you. You may find yourself by yourself with transient friends, transient jobs, transient living situations, thus, a transient life. A chaotic life is at best, a harder life. In the long run, a lifetime is a long time. Yet, some people are addicted to chaos then, become addicted to the anger that develops from the chaos. Do not let this type of bad behavior become your habit, your life.


4. If you cannot figure out exactly what you want to do for a living, figure out exactly what you DO NOT want to do for a living. Make a list on a legal pad of your professional strengths/weaknesses, what you want to do/do not want to do. Argue both sides of your case, again, as a lawyer would argue. Write down your dream job. Write down your natural God-given talents. If you do not know, visit a career center at a nearby community college or university and take tests/seek career counseling/educational opportunities. One will always have one's good brain to use and utilize all throughout one's life. It is NEVER too late to go back to school, learn a new trade or refine a talent you have just for your enjoyment and fun after work. Painting, carpentry, writing, cleaning, singing, tutoring, care giving, cooking, shop, sewing, travel, etc.


5. What do YOU want out of you life? What is your purpose? What do you want to accomplish of your own? What was your favorite subject in school? Chances are, you excelled at the subjects you enjoyed. Everyone has hidden talents. Preferably, do what you love for a living, but if you cannot, do it for yourself after working hours.


6. Make and take time out for yourself. Be selfish with your time until you get through your rough time. Tell your friends you are taking a bit of time out. Do not complain to all your friends or you will find yourself spending time and taking care of your friends instead of yourself. If you can, when you can, take a weekend or week off and go away by yourself. Go camping, go on a retreat, go to a spa. Be alone with your thoughts so you can ground yourself, gather your strength and figure out what is important to you, and what your priorities are in your life.


7. Eleanor Roosevelt said: "You teach other people how to treat you," and it is true. Be kind and polite always, but strong.


8. For at least 1/2 hour per day, or more, turn OFF the Cable TV/Cell phone/Radio/I-Pod so you may have some quiet time to think. My husband purposefully takes time out to mow the grass so he may think about grand ideas or a small angle for his company. He thinks about how other people can make money for him so he may have more time to think of more ideas for more little angles. One idea and one angle at a time.


9. Cancel your membership at the gym. You can instead go for walks/runs around your neighborhood. You can do sit ups and other exercises in your living room. Take the gym membership money and put it into the bank. Exercise or stretch out a bit every day. Little work outs to feel a bit better.


10. Keep any social club or country club memberships if you can. You may use social clubs for informal networking, community involvement, group support, volunteering, and other opportunities.


11. Pretend like you are shopping and take the money you would normally spend shopping and put it in the bank. Have only one credit card and only use it for emergencies and vacations. Shop around for cheaper car insurance, life insurance, health insurance. You do not need to pay an agent. You can get better deals managing your own insurances yourself. If you do not have a checking account, open one up. Always keep your eyes out for new banks with "free checking for life" accounts. If you have a checking account, open a savings account. If you have a savings account, open a money market account. If you have all of these accounts, buy some Treasury Bonds, or invest in the stock market. Don't worry about meeting the minimums right away. Build it up a bit at a time. Put spare change in a small drawer rather than in a jar. Put spare dollar bills in your purses or pants/jacket pockets and forget about it.


12. Donate not with a check, but donate in kind. For example, instead of giving money to your church/temple, offer to clean the chapel or do repairs or yard work around the church once a week or once a month. Volunteer for church school, or in the church nursery, or drive the shuttle bus. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity for your vacation.


13. When cooking, or baking, make double the recipe and take the extra half to an elderly neighbor, less fortunate neighbor, or local organization that feeds shut-ins or a homeless shelter.


14. Clean out your garage. Bring unwanted tools and sporting equipment and vehicles to your local homeless shelter. Clean out your kitchen pantry. Bring your unwanted canned goods to the local food bank. Clean out your makeup drawer. Bring all the unused makeup and unused free samples to the local battered woman's shelter. You cannot even imagine how a bit of makeup helps a battered woman's confidence!


15. Volunteer for one evening or one afternoon, once per week or once per month somewhere, anywhere. If time is an issue (because you have three jobs as I used to have), then volunteer to serve a holiday meal at a homeless shelter.


16. If you are fortunate enough to have a large or supportive family lean on them, or lean on a select few friends. If you have neither family or friends, please find counsel in a local church/temple, school or civic group.


17. Clean out your closets,cabinets, attic, bookshelves, basement, storage unit,etc. Give away clothes, shoes and things you have not worn or used in 5 years. Giving to others less fortunate than yourself will take your worry off yourself and will lift your heart up.


18. Give away all the fussy, time taking things in your house that require too much of your time to keep up or that cause you stress. For example, old silver, old pewter or copper, or even plants that require too much effort. Keep your animals as they reduce stress unless they have become unruly. If you have an animal and have had a new baby, or have an animal that belonged to a deceased family member and the animal is or has become unruly, give the animal away to a friend, or take the animal to a "No Kill" shelter.


19. Do NOT act like a victim. You will wear others out with your constant complaining about all your daily problems. After a certain age (25), everyone has their own problems and does not need to hear your daily complaints. You choose your own behavior thus, you must put up with the outcome. If you do not care for the outcome, change your behavior. The same behavior will result in the same outcome. Little changes. One day at a time, like putting a quarter in a cup, every day. Build on small changes every day and stick with it. Patience is a virtue!


20. No one else can live your life for you just as you cannot live others' lives for them. No one else will take care of the personal you. It is so easy to loose your own identity, your own soul, your own energy, your own patience taking care of everyone else in this highly stressful, highly competitive, fast paced, technology driven life. Make time for yourself because no one else will.

Make time to utilize your good mind, and take care of yourself, dear reader.

Be Your Own Superstar On Facebook and Twitter

If we are who our friends are on Facebook and Twitter, then we are what we post on Facebook and Twitter, right?

The content of what you post on Facebook and Twitter says much about what is important to you in your life. It tells others what style of life you live and what type of person you are in your life. Or, does it merely tell what type of persona you put forward for others to read and see?
Are your posts on Facebook and Twitter regularly relevant, useful, witty, timely, and informative? Or, are your posts simple, to the point, politically and socially correct, innocuous and possibly considered mundane by others, but orderly? Are your posts eclectic or about the same subject over and over. Are you regularly on Facebook and Twitter, or are your posts irregular? Does the tone of your posts come across as soulful, angry, needy, coy, mean, lonely, busy, happy or sarcastic? How is their after taste? What do you come away with after reading another friend's posts? After a while, do you feel as though you know the lifestyle of your friends better? Do your friends put forward only a snapshot of their lives, a resume of their lives, or their life story? Too much information or too little? Not enough interesting information or too much controversial information?

Are you a single gal or an "Empty Nester" who posts many photos of your animals, or your rose garden? Do you Twitter about being on the Red Carpet, or taking a shower? Are you in your thirties with teenagers and many neighborhood friends at the pool drinking a glass of wine while watching the kids swim? Do you Twitter about political causes? Do you live in the country and have horses and post riding photos? Are you a serious career woman and post only business related information? Are you a sports guy and post links to The America's Cup? Or, are you a gentleman farmer and post vacation photos from St. Barth's? Are you a Socialite who posts a 'thank you' to all the hosts from all the parties you've ever attend possibly forgetting other friends may not have been invited? Is order important in your life so you post what you are eating for dinner?
Are some posts more interesting than others? Yes,but dos that make the more interesting posts more important? No, just different.
What if you don't Twitter and don't Facebook at all? Is your life going to be less fulfilling because of your lack of participation? No, just different.
Just remember, Facebook and Twitter are as my friend put it: "public babble", so be careful what you write and mind the photographs you post. Pay attention to the aftertaste of your posts and make sure it is the persona you want to put forward to others.

Eat peach ice-cream with a peachy aftertaste, enjoy and have fun!

The First 10 of George Washington's 100 "Rules of Civility" Updated!

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together:"

If pleasures path you wish to see,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak, of whom you speak,
And when, and how, and where.

Florence Gaynor
June 21, 1906


At 16 years of age, George Washington wrote his own 100 "Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation" and published them into a book. He lived by these 100 rules most of the rest of his life.


Some sharp students at The University of Virginia are updating these 100 rules in their own study called "The Civility Project." The following are The Sabot School of Etiquette's modern take on the first ten of these rules:


1. Washington: "Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are present."

1. SSOE: Stand up straight and for introductions, keep your hands at your side, look people directly in the eyes, and smile. Seeing the BAFTA awards on BBC this weekend, I saw the actress Kristin Stewart from the popular "Twilight" movies accept an award. I watched in horror as she vigorously scratched her head with all fingers and both hands, then continued running her fingers through her hair throughout her acceptance speech at the podium. Yuck!


2. Washington: "When in Company, put not your hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered."

2. SSOE: Keep your hands out of your pockets. Do not touch your head or fix your wedgie when in public. We have a local news reporter "man on the street" who reports his stories with one hand holding his mic and the other hand in his pant pocket. What is going on in there? Was he raised by wild dogs?


3. Washington: Shew Nothing yo your Friend that may affright him.

3. SSOE: Never embarrass another person. Leaders always make others feel special. As corny as it may sound, always speak positively so others will always want to be around you, who wouldn't?

4. Washington: In the Presence of Others, Sing not to yourself with a Humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.

4. SSOE: Keep your voice and hands to yourself. Keep your cellphone put away when with company as well. Do not whistle, hum or fiddle with your fingers in public. Also, if you are anything other than a heart surgeon, do not fiddle with your cell phone while at a meal or a party. One does not HAVE to be connected to all one's friends ALL the time. As my Father used to say: "If they need you, they will get you. They will call back." Let your friends wonder what mysterious delicacies you may be delighting in for a while. Be a bit in demand.

5. Washington: If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh or Yawn, do it not loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.

5. SSOE: Turn your head to the side if you must sneeze. Use a Kleenex or handkerchief. In an emergency, use your hand. Then, excuse yourself to the restroom and wash your hands. If you have bad allergies, and have a runny nose all the time, best only to "Dab" your nose with a tissue or hankie at the table. DO NOT blow your nose at the table. Best to go to the restroom. NEVER blow your nose into your napkin while at a meal. Gross! Cover your mouth when you cough or must yawn. Try to smile and breath in during a yawn in front of others if you cannot turn your head.

6. Washington: Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

6. SSOE: Pause look and listen. True listening is when you are not planning out what to say as soon as the other person is finished speaking. Always stand for introductions. Opinions on religion and politics still upset others and still should preferably not be discussed at parties. Pay attention to others when walking in a group.


7. Washington: Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half dressed.

7. SSOE: Gentlemen, DO NOT take off your dress jackets at semi-formal or formal events, even when dancing. I have been at many a formal wedding and Black Tie charity event when the Father of the Bride or Chairman has to ask a gentleman to put back on his jacket. Don't be that guy! Also, even if you are not a pajama guy, buy a robe and use it!

8. Washington: At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

8. SSOE: Move over in your circle if someone joins in the conversation, and do not start yelling your opinion over others in order to be heard. It is hard in this 24 hour world of constant communication to NOT copy the poor example of all the "Talking Heads" on TV and NOT over talk another person, or raise your voice in a growing circle of conversation. Most people like listening to their own voices, so if you must be heard, go home and write in a journal or start a blog.

9. Washington: Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

9. SSOE: Do not spit in public and do not put your feet up onto the table in the kitchen or around food.


10. Washington: When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

10. SSOE: Treat your seat like a church pew. Sit with both feet squarely on the floor. Do not sit on your ankles. Do not wrap your feet around your chair. In Asian and Middle Eastern countries, showing the sole of your shoe is considered rude and insulting.

Just a few first ten tips from three hundred years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same!

Stump The Etiquette Lady - Valentine Anxiety at School

Question:
Our Second Grader refuses to go to school on Valentine's Day. Last year, she received mean Valentine cards that said: "You are ugly," and "You are stupid." Our daughter is kind yet very shy, she gets straight A's but is extremely tall and skinny. She does get teased all the time. What should we do?
Answer:
Call a meeting immediately with the teacher and the principal. The teacher should know her classroom well enough to recognize the bullies, and they should be reprimanded.
Softly explain to your daughter it is her kindness which makes her a leader and she will grow up to be a better person with empathy for others because of this quality.
At The Sabot School of Etiquette, our #1 rule is: "Leaders always make others feel special." Leaders are always positive and include rather than exclude. Leaders never make another person feel sad or embarrassed or humiliated. True leaders are people whom everyone wants to be around. Who wouldn't?

Handmade Love. Hearts and Happiness. A Homemade Valentine's Day with Love.

The Catholic Priest, Father Valentine, combined with Faunas, the Roman pagan God of Fertility adds up to our modern celebrated St. Valentine's Day. With 180 million roses and 6 million boxes of chocolates sold, Valentine's Day is overall a 14 Billion dollar holiday in the US.*
With all this hype, social pressures, TV commercials, media adds, movies and more, as a single girl with a tiny family for 20 years, Valentine's Day for me was an awful, annoying struggle against loneliness. It was an annual and agonizing reminder that there was no significant other to share in my life. Not to sound too much like an "After School Special," my Mother always sent a red heart-shaped box of Russell and Stover chocolates, yet, somehow not the same. Once, at 27, a boyfriend presented the roses, perfume and chocolates, as he knew I had not yet received the "Red Carpet" Valentine's Day treatment, but alas, the relationship did not last.
Finally, as a married lady with a large family, Valentine's Day has slowly become one of my favorite holidays! Yeah! Don't want the perfume or roses anymore. Don't really need to eat the chocolates either. Spending special time with loved ones is what is most important.
Taking time to pick out just the right store-bought Valentine's Day card to send to loved ones far away is nice, although, hand-made cards are lovely. Valentine cards in the past required lace and ribbon. Red colored roses. Hearts and happiness. Handmade love. Poems were popular as well. Pouring out one's heart straight from the soul for that one special love was preferred. Songs written to your loved one would do too. Lives were shorter. Life was harder. Special occasions were more rare, thus, much treasured.
As we say at The Sabot School of Etiquette, one does not have to have money to have manners. A handmade, home cooked Valentine's Day is always more treasured than just writing a check. Making time and taking care to make a thoughtful day for a loved one is most special and unforgettable always.
So, take a breath, plan a bit, make time and enjoy!

* Statistics from: The History Channel, "History of Valentine's Day" show