Handmade Love. Hearts and Happiness. A Homemade Valentine's Day with Love.

The Catholic Priest, Father Valentine, combined with Faunas, the Roman pagan God of Fertility adds up to our modern celebrated St. Valentine's Day. With 180 million roses and 6 million boxes of chocolates sold, Valentine's Day is overall a 14 Billion dollar holiday in the US.*
With all this hype, social pressures, TV commercials, media adds, movies and more, as a single girl with a tiny family for 20 years, Valentine's Day for me was an awful, annoying struggle against loneliness. It was an annual and agonizing reminder that there was no significant other to share in my life. Not to sound too much like an "After School Special," my Mother always sent a red heart-shaped box of Russell and Stover chocolates, yet, somehow not the same. Once, at 27, a boyfriend presented the roses, perfume and chocolates, as he knew I had not yet received the "Red Carpet" Valentine's Day treatment, but alas, the relationship did not last.
Finally, as a married lady with a large family, Valentine's Day has slowly become one of my favorite holidays! Yeah! Don't want the perfume or roses anymore. Don't really need to eat the chocolates either. Spending special time with loved ones is what is most important.
Taking time to pick out just the right store-bought Valentine's Day card to send to loved ones far away is nice, although, hand-made cards are lovely. Valentine cards in the past required lace and ribbon. Red colored roses. Hearts and happiness. Handmade love. Poems were popular as well. Pouring out one's heart straight from the soul for that one special love was preferred. Songs written to your loved one would do too. Lives were shorter. Life was harder. Special occasions were more rare, thus, much treasured.
As we say at The Sabot School of Etiquette, one does not have to have money to have manners. A handmade, home cooked Valentine's Day is always more treasured than just writing a check. Making time and taking care to make a thoughtful day for a loved one is most special and unforgettable always.
So, take a breath, plan a bit, make time and enjoy!

* Statistics from: The History Channel, "History of Valentine's Day" show

Saying You Are Sorry In Your Own Way

A Builder and a Real Estate Developer amicably parted ways 1 1/2 years ago. The builder said the Real Estate Company did not know how to sell houses well. The Real Estate company said the houses were way to expensive for the market and were loaded up with too many upgrades and extras.

After parting ways and 1 1/2 years of not talking, this morning, the Builder called the Real Estate Developer complimenting their company on many other home sales and casually mentioning possible future dealings together, again.

The Real Estate Developer said to me "Isn't this odd?" My response was: "This was his apology."

Some of us can say we are sorry outright, upfront and immediately to the person whom we have offended. Others of us need time, different methods, venues and alternative words, or no words at all. Rather, some of us say we are sorry though various acts of kindness.

Fathers may give out unwarranted compliments, or presents. Husbands and boyfriends may bring flowers. Women may make a great meal or clean a room as a nice surprise. A friend may bring you a small gift for a different reason or in a different venue. Some of us may say we are sorry many, many months later during a calm moment.

Listen. Have patience. Never embarass the other person, chide or judge them harshly for not being able to apologize the way you may apologize. Everyone is different. They need to apologize in their own time, their own way. Accept the compliment. Accept the flowers or gift. Say thank you. Write that thank-you note for the gift. Turn that cheek. Take that leap of faith and forgive, forgive, forgive. Life is short. Life is good!

From the book: Labour-Saving Hints and Ideas For The Home, 1924

Imagine life without cleaning solutions or mothballs. The following are just a few home-made tips to clean your house without spending money on ready-made, store bought household cleaning products, and tips are comprised of items already found in your house for cleaning and fixing things all around your house.

1. How does one unscrew a light bulb that has broken off in the socket? Rather than purchasing fancy nose needle pliers, use a raw potato. Place it right into the socket and turn counterclockwise. Voila!
2. How does one clean hard water stains in a sink or bathtub? Go to your spice rack and scrub the tub with Cream of Tartar. This spice can also be spread around areas to get rid of mice and "water bugs" (roaches).
3. What does one do about ring stains on the antique wooden coffee table, end table, or chest of drawers? Dab mayonnaise or petroleum jelly all around the stain and let it sit for a day or two. Wipe and let it dry. A second application may be needed.
4. How does one get rid of coffee stains on one's teeth? Swish with white vinegar. (Vinegar is safe, but if you have had complicated dental work or allergies, ask your dentist first). Vinegar can also be used to clean glass in the bathroom, like a shower door.
5. To prevent moths and spiders, cut up a bar of soap into 1" - 1 1/2" squares and place into drawers and boxes. No stinky moth balls needed!!!
6. For a sting by a Wasp, rub a slice of white or yellow onion on the sting. If stung in the mouth or on the throat, chew a bit of onion slowly and swallow. A certain cure!
7. A few drops of lemon squeezed into a pot of water will make the brownest old potato boil white!
8. When beating eggs or egg whites, add a tiny pinch of salt. The eggs will whip up better and quicker! Use water to stretch scrambled eggs, not milk.
9. Wash fruit and vegetables in warm water first, then rinse with cold water. Washing in warm water will get rid of any bugs. Lettuce soaked in a sink of warm water and salt will also rid the lettuce of any bugs. I have taken to carefully and gently rinsing delicate raspberries and strawberries with whatever orange juice is left over in the fridge, then rinse in cold water. The citrus removes any bad bacteria or bugs.
10. One use for stale bread is to bake the bread in an oven until dry. Remove and grind into crumbs. Save the crumbs in an old coffee can for cooking. Can also be frozen inside a freezer bag for 6 months-1 year.

We hope you enjoy these tips from the book: "Labour-Saving Hints and Ideas for the Home", c. 1924, George Routlrdge & Sons, Ltd, London.

Please, write in with your household tips!

Gift Giving in China

Appropriate gift giving in any foreign country is tricky but not complicated once one understands the local customs, traditions and superstitions of the country. A good travel book will have culture included or one can seek out customs in a specific country on the Internet or in a book written on culture at a bookstore, or at the library.
In China, the color white and white flowers are used for funerals, many superstitions surround the numbers 4,9, and 13. Knives, scissors and sharp objects are bad luck to give as a gift in the USA and China. Sometimes in the USA, people give steak knives as a wedding present, and tape a "lucky penny" to the box to alleviate the bad luck, but in China, they do not even believe in a "lucky penny," so stay away from sharp gifts all together. Also, gifts with animals such as Foxes, Wolfs and Badgers are considered to be bad luck.
Giving a clock in China (similar to the old US tradition of covering the clock when someone dies), is associated with death and and evil spirits. US currency(cash), lavish gifts, and food are considered rude.
Appropriate gifts are books, scotch, regional US gifts, and any Company product.
These days, it is simple to do your homework before visiting a foreign country. Enjoy learning about the customs and culture of others. It's fun, and you are a better traveler for the learning!

LTTE - Elle Magazine Re: Cursing

Dear Madame:
My Husband and my Mother have one thing they agree upon: if I am to wear Haute Couture, I cannot cuss.
I read in the bathtub nightly to relax, but cannot do so while reading your lovely magazine. Luxurious, very expensive couture clothes, lovely fashion stories and spreads, yet the F-Bomb and S-word are all over your magazine. I was frankly a bit taken a back in the tub by the use of these curse words so often. Whether it be a writer-in to a regularly featured column or in a simple article. I cannot believe writers cannot be a bit more creative rather than just so common. We recently had to ask my 13 year old Nephew not to use the D-word on Facebook. Thirteen year olds' think cursing is cool. What is your opinion on cursing?
Please, if you must print curse words within your body of work to up your circulation, or shock value, or because the thirteen year olds' who read the magazine think it is cool, then use a few asterisks. Your intelligent readers, I am sure, will get the general gist. Sorry to sound like an old curmudgeon, but cursing is for people who cannot think of a better word instead, and who do not wear couture.

Yes Y'all, There Are Rules of Etiquette For Family Behavior

Believe it or not, courtesy begins at home. There are simple manners that should be practiced within families. As you may have heard, one may pick one's friends, however, one cannot pick one's family. Various and changing family members will be present for you in one way or another for the rest of your life. With Valentine's Day fast approaching, here are a few tips to help you celebrate your family and loved ones:

• Simply pay attention to your tone of voice when speaking to a family member every day. Try to sound calm and kind every day.


• Try to be positive every day. Do not turn the dinner table into "whinny time" or the kitchen into gossip central.


• Compliment instead of constantly criticize. If you try not to say anything negative or sarcastic, you will not hurt any one's feelings.


• No matter their past, Respect your elder family members because they deserve your respect. They have "paid their dues" seen and done more than you have, therefore, believe it or not, are wiser. Listen to and learn from their wisdom.


• Lead by example every day. Children (and adult family members) react to and mimic behavior and tone of voice they see and hear.


• Acts of kindness go a long way. Bring a loved one coffee in bed. Do the dishes. Empty the trash. Straighten up the Den. Feed the dog. Make a bed. Do not be the family member that always must be badgered to do the slightest daily chore.


• Always knock and ask permission before entering some one's bedroom.


• Always thank whomever cooked your dinner every night. If they cooked, you do the dishes.


• Do not always hog the remote. Ask others if they have a special show or movie they may want to watch.


• Be quiet if someone in the room is on the phone so they can hear.


• Practice neat Bathroom manners every day. Leave it cleaner for the next person.


• Try not to control the conversation and everyone in the room. Give others a turn.


• Ask a family member how their day went. They will appreciate the asking!


• Use your magic words, (please, thank you, may I) every day. They are called magic for a reason.

If you are fortunate, different members of your family will be with you throughout your lifetime. Some people have large families, others have friends as family. Friends and family are forever. We all dissappoint, we all make mistakes. We all let down the ones we love from time to time. Forgive, forgive, forgive, every day. Value those you love every day. Try to be consistently kind, non-judgemental and giving. As corny as it may sound, who doesn't want to be around someone who is always positive?

Quick Traditional Wedding Anniversary List

Happy 2010 !

Because it is wedding season, here is a quick list of traditional gifts one can give for anniversaries!

1st - Paper ......................................14th - Ivory

2nd - Cotton ...................................15th - Crystal

3rd - Leather ..................................20th - China

4th - Flowers ..................................25th - Silver

5th - Wood ......................................30th - Pearl

6th - Candy ....................................35th - Coral

7th - Copper ...................................40th - Ruby

8th - Bronze ...................................45th - Sapphire

9th - Pottery ..................................50th - Gold

10th - Tin ......................................55th - Emerald

11th - Steel ....................................60th - Diamond

12th - Silk .....................................75th - Diamond

13th - Lace

Good reading and good luck choosing a lovely gift!