LTTE Reaction to "Miss Porter's" Article in Vanity Fair, July, 2009 Issue

Letter To The Editor:

As a bright, but very tall and skinny, shy child with ADHD in the 1960's, like Tatum Bass, I was unfairly and relentlessly picked on, badgered and bullied at an exclusive private Episcopalian girl's school for no other reason than our family did not fit the mold.
We were Yankee transplants into a unique Southern society of First Families of Virginia, known locally as the FFV's. These families traced their lineages back as much as 13 generations, from the 7 Presidents of Virginia to King Carter and Mary Randolph. One basically has to be born into this society to truly fit the mold.
My grades went from straight A's in Primer to straight D's by 5th Grade, when my parents wisely pulled me out. I had stopped talking, and was the most mortally unhappy ten year old child. By the grace of God, I eventually thrived at another girl's High School and women's College. Single and professionally successful, spent the bulk of my 20's and 30's trying to fit back into the social mold in which I perceived I had failed.
It was not until I was married at 41 that I figured out life on the fringe, rather than inside the fishbowl, is so much more fulfilling, interesting and fun for me.
If one's family fits the mold, I am sure it is lovely to grow up with all that structure, security and social connections from the "1/2 of the 1 percent," but the pinnacle of perfection Miss Porter's pushes does not guarantee success, happiness or respect in life.
Hopefully, Miss Bass and her family will eventually accept her experience at Miss Porter's as a lucky lesson , learn from it, and move on.

International Travel Tips for the Summer Vacation Season

Bonjour! Ca va? When traveling through domestic or foreign lands this summer, remember to be a good traveler. The following tips will help you and your family travel well, travel safely and get the maximum benefit out of all your planning.

• Do go to the local library or book store and check out or purchase a simple paperback book on your travel destination. Research it on the Internet. Do your homework. Learn a bit about the local population, religion, language, customs, cuisine, lay out of the land, hotels, restaurants, museums and historic points of interest.
• Do dress up just a bit when traveling. Some people today look as if they are cleaning out their garage. Comfort is nice, but not that comfortable. One never knows where one will end up. My husband and I happened upon the 21 Club while walking through New York City with another couple. We all decided to go in for lunch. My husband had on jeans, thus denied entry. The only item on the 21 Club's dress code was "No Jeans." Embarrassing. If only my husband had worn khaki pants. He wears khaki pants now and forever more. Comfortable enough.
• If in Europe, the Caribbean, Latin America or the Middle East, Do not wear jeans, shorts, sweat clothes or tennis shoes. Also, gentlemen: do not wear shorts to dinner. Traditionally, gentlemen wear long pants to dinner. Europeans dislike the American casual "look" of jeans, shorts, sweat clothes and tennis shoes. Also, you will stand out as an "Ugly American" tourist. A great way to get ripped-off or robbed.
• Do immerse yourself in the local culture. Local cuisine, local haunts. You can eat at Fast Food restaurants when you get home. Safely walk or drive around. Check out the side streets, not just the main tourist traffic areas.
• Do think of traveling as a fun discovery adventure. Your visited foreign land is not and will not be like America. Do Not expect a foreign country to be like home.
• If in a foreign land, Do learn your magic words in the local language. Please, Thank You, May I, No Sir, Yes Mam, and a few phrases regarding restrooms, transportation, hotels, Hospital and menus in English, etc, will be useful and appreciated by the locals.
• Do learn the local customs regarding tipping and tip well (20%). My husband and I were on the Island of St. Barth's at a very fine French restaurant and heard a couple from Texas ask the waiter if the tip was included. The waiter answered "No." At the bottom of the menu, it clearly stated in French: "Service Compris." This means the tip IS included. That waiter was very dishonest and that poor couple was probably broke the next day after paying for an expensive meal and then leaving a tip on top of their "Service Compris." If only one of them had known a few phrases in French.
• Do speak softly. Americans are known for being too loud.
• Do walk like you know where you are going. Wandering around with a map in your hands looking up will target you as a tourist. Sit down at a cafe and have a cup of coffee, enjoy your surroundings and look at your map.
• Do try to blend in with the local citizens.
• Do put your wallet into your front pants pocket or pinned to your unmentionables, or inside your shoe. My husband puts 2 rubber bands around his wallet and puts his wallet inside his front pocket.
• Use an inexpensive travel wallet. Only put in your travel wallet the documents you need for travel. Take only 1 credit card. Leave at home all your wallet photos and documents you do not need. Thus, if you do have your wallet stolen, you will not loose everything.
• Do Not wear a fanny pack. You may as well just put a sign on yourself saying: "I am a tourist. Rip me off and rob me."
• Only pack for 6 days wherever you are going and for ever how long you are gone. You can always hand wash items yourself, or send out for laundry/dry cleaning.
• Do pick either a brown/cream OR black/jewel tone wardrobe and stick with it. Two pair of shoes will do. Ladies: one kitten heel and one loafer. One sweater or Jacket. One medium all purpose purse will do for travel items only (maps, comb, pen, first aid). Remember, keep your money separately from your purse and "on your person."
• Only travel with jewelry you can afford emotionally and fiscally to loose. Always keep any jewelry on your person.
• Check out the opening counter hours of the local airport. My husband and I usually check in and check our luggage in after Breakfast on our return travel day. Then we have the rest of the day to relax before our flight and do not have to lug around and worry about our heavy luggage.

Be aware, do your due diligence and enjoy your travels. Bon Voyage, a bientot et Au Revoir, y'all!!

LTTE W Magazine - considered for "Readers React" page

Poor bored fashion photographers. Having to shoot Haute Couture day after day. Y'all, if I wanted to take Studio Art 101 and Photography 101 AGAIN, I'd run on down to the community college and sign up. Please, have your photographers turn the lights on and focus their lenses. I simply want to see well lit, well photographed pages of your featured, gorgeous, hand crafted, hand sewn garments. I thought W was a fashion magazine, not a vehicle through which fashion photographers practice their side careers as photo-journalist/artists. Please let your loyal readers clearly see the 300 year old tradition of "High Costume," Haute Couture.

Facebook Etiquette

One is who one's friends are on Facebook, and for this reason, there are rules about how to use Facebook.

1. Only make friends with people you know.
2. Tag friends in photos only with their prior permission, and post only flattering photos of all friends and family members. Photos should be worth 1000 positive words.
3. Sass will bite you in the a** every time. Keep all comments positive, please.
4. Do not walk away/leave your Facebook page on/open in a public place (office or library) as someone else could access and alter your private profile information.
5. Do Not change your relationship status without your partner's knowledge. That is just tacky and mean.
6. Do Not over "Poke" friends without their prior permission and Do Not over "send" gifts, Easter Eggs, pillow fights, snowball fights, etc. without the friend's permission. It is annoying. We all have busy lives. We do not have time to constantly "Poke" back, "Send" back, "find" the Easter Egg, etc.
7. Please, refrain from putting down what you ate for dinner. No one cares, unless you had dinner at The White house, Buckingham Palace or 300 feet up in the air on one of those "Sky Dinner" adventures. Keep your information interesting.
8. How can one possibly have 556 friends, and if one does, how can one possibly keep up with all of them? Please, Facebook is not a popularity contest. Also know, every time you accept a friend, you are opening up your information to that friend and their friends. Control yourself!
9. Do Not make other friends read your mind. When posting information Wall to Wall, keep the information complete and whole. Do not post a reply from some other friend who sent you a question privately. Make lunch plans with friends using the "send a message" feature.
10. Be Very Careful of posting health issues on Facebook. If one must post health issues, do so only with prior permission from the patient and be consistent in updating the information. Other friends who may not be in touch regularly may not know what is going on, and you can scare friends by posting poor health information. Remember what your Mother taught you about religion and politics. Even in our modern day, one should still be very wary of posting religious thoughts or political opinions.
11. Read the fine print when taking quizzes. You are allowing Facebook and those companies giving the quizzes access to your information and your friends' information.

On the whole, mind your public babble on your "Wall" and "Wall to Wall". Be careful, be positive, keep it interesting and have fun!

Tea Party Poem

A poem from my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never"

I wish I were a tea-cup,

So when you drink tea,

At every little mouthful,

You would sometimes think of me.

Your Classmate

Beulah W. Kennedy

June 21, 1906

There are 3 types of tea: Oolong, Black and Green

When pouring tea, fill the cup only 3/4 full to allow for spillage

fill the cup only 1/2 full if the recipient takes milk

Never mix milk and lemon. The acidity of the lemon will curdle the milk

Never use cream with tea. Cream is too strong for the taste of the tea. Only use milk.

Do not clank your spoon against the edges of the cup when stirring.

Honey with green tea and a petite chocolate treat is my favorite! What is your favorite tea? ENJOY!

An Easter Poem from my "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never" Book

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never"

May Heaven preserve and keep thee,

From every sorrow free,

And grant thee every blessing,

My earnest wish for thee.

Your Friend,

Mary Gleich

June 21, 1906

Happy Easter everyone!

Continental vs. American Dining

Until the 1850's, Europeans ate in the same style as Americans, switching their forks to their right hand after cutting with their left hand. In 1853, a French chef was cited in an etiquette book that changed thie practice. This French chef suggested that those who wished to eat like fashonable people should not switch their fork to their right hand after cutting their meat, but raise their fork to their mouth still in their left hand, thus, the Continental style.
The European upper classes immediately adopted this practice. Soon, Europeans of all classes began eating in the Continental style. This easy, convenient style is also great for left handed people, and as always, remember to cut your meat in any style with your elbows next to your sides.