What Type of Handshake Do You Have? Is it the Proper Continental Grip?

What does your handshake say about you? Is it strong like an ox or limp like a fish, or that of a Diplomat?

A proper handshake should connect in the 'V" between one's thumb and forefinger. Not too strong, and not too weak. Just the right connection, referred to as the Continental Grip.

Here are a few other tips on types of handshakes:

• The Bone Crusher, or I'm angry. I once had a gentleman shorter than me crush my hand so hard, he broke my antique white gold ring. The shank was thin, and it snapped into my finger & blood spurted everywhere. Guys, DON'T shake the hand of a lady quite this hard. No reason for that! 
• The Glove Handshake, or over-confident. Politicians are famous for this type. They also sometimes then put the left hand on their right elbow. Men of a "certain age" are also famous for this handshake with women. Don't do this type of handshake with women. There is no need. 
• The Finger Tip Holder, or the early grab. At first this type of handshake may seem as if the person did not get a good enough grip on you. Some "Luncheon Ladies" of a "certain age" were taught to shake hands like this back in the day by their Victorian age Grand Mothers. 

After 2 shakes, loosen your grip, and then down. Don't ever yank your hand away. This gesture would signify disdain. 2 shakes and down. You're done! 

Yes, First Impressions Take 5 Seconds.

"A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever heard it takes 5 seconds to make an impression? It does. Why? It is a visual impression and an impression of one's comportment. How one walks into a room. How one stands. The demeanor of the body language. One's aura. Is it that of a King, a grand lady or a bum who doesn't care?

It takes 21 days to start a pattern. Practice makes perfect.

It takes 100 days for the pattern to become automatic. A "habit."

It takes 30 days to forget a message. This is why you must practice, practice, practice.

66% of a message is forgotten within 24 hours. Only 34% is retained.

It takes 8 days of consistent reminding for 90% to be retained in 30 days. This is why it is important to practice, practice, practice your new skill, knowledge or behavior.

Practice does make perfect!  

Melodious Singapore and its Old European Manners. Menikmati!

Tropical Melodious Singapore. A heavily populated Country about the size of Chicago with just over 3 million people, and old European manners. So here are a few tips:

• Don't point. Don't point at anyone with your chopsticks either. It's considered rude.
• Don't stare. Staring is used for punishment by Mothers when children are bad. When sitting, don't swing or point your shoe at anyone. The sole of the shoe is considered unclean and is an insult. If you must, when sitting, cross your legs at the ankles, but best to try & keep both feet squarely planted on the ground.
• Smiling or laughing is used often as a cover for embarrassment. 
• Don't touch your head. The head is sacred.
• Don't walk around in public with your hands in your pockets. Placing your hands in your pockets is VERY casual. Not formal at all, and not used in formal business meetings, unless one is done with business. A man with his hand in his pocket for a prolonged period of time looks like...well, I'll leave it up to y'all to conclude. 
• Dress is smart casual chic. Men wear trousers always. No shorts. Collared shirts. Ladies dress modestly. Conservatively. Only the stereotypical "Ugly American" tacky tourists wear shorts and have pieces and parts hanging out. 
• Speak softly. The world is not your college campus. Don't be the stereotypical loud "Ugly American." 
• Don't make hand gestures. Don't pound your palm on a table, as this gesture is considered obscene. Better to stay away from all hand and finger gestures all together. 
• Learn a few "magic words." Hello, please, thank you, good morning, etc. Malay is the official language. Selamat ('suh-lah-mat') = Hello. Selamat pagi ('pag-ee') = Good Afternoon. Selamat Petang ('puh-tong') = Good Evening. Sila = please. Terima Kasih = Thank you. 
• Singaporean society is steeped in Confucian traditions. Disciplined. Loyal. Respectful. Religions break down as follows: 30% Taoist, 30% Buddhist, 20% Muslim, 10% Christian, 4% Hindu.
• Compliments are sometimes declines as humility is important.
• To get the attention of a waiter, raise your hand, not finger.
• Always wash your hands before eating. This act is considered polite.
• When eating out, allow your Host to order. The Host starts the meal first.
• Dishes are all placed on the table at once and shared "family style" by all.
• Sometimes a spoon is used to eat along with your fingers from your right hand to eat. NEVER use your left hand to eat. The left hand is used for the toilet. The left hand is considered an insult.
• Even numbers signify good fortune.
• Never give a gift of odd numbers & especially not the number 13. Bad luck.
• Use BOTH hands to give someone else a business card, or gift, and accept a business card, and gift, with both hands. Do NOT then put the business card in your back pocket. Yup. the pocket again. Stay away from pockets!
• Never give a government official a gift. This act is considered a bribe.
• Wrap gifts elegantly, but never in black, blue or white. White is a funeral color. Red is a great color. Red signifies happiness and prosperity. High quality gifts are preferred, and in even numbers. Never give white flowers, or flowers in an odd number. Do not give chrysanthemums as they are the traditional funeral flower. Acceptable gifts are candy, cakes, scotch, brandy, perfume or something from your home Country or region (i.e. Virginia peanuts). Do not give beef, pork or knives.
• Carry your prescriptions for any medications with you. There are strict laws regarding drugs and prescriptions. 
• Don't litter, jaywalk or spit on the sidewalk or chew gum in public.

Basically, use your best manners, be quietly observant and take in your experiences. Eat local delicacies and enjoy! Menikmati!

The Salty Master Salt

Ever heard the expression: "To sit above the salt?"

Back in the day, sitting "above the salt" meant you were sitting in an honored position between the host and the master salt.

This most important container, as salt was hard to obtain and very expensive, was placed in the center of the long dining table. Some "Master Salt" containers were, in very fancy households, sterling silver  outside with a cobalt bowl, and sterling silver feet like a bathtub. Salt is corrosive to silver, so explains the cobalt bowl.

The Host as the head of the table and family, always sat at the head of the table. As per tradition, the Guest of Honor was always placed to the right of the host.

So, if you were between the host at the head of the table and the master salt in the center of the table, you were "above the salt!"

Cheers!

A Tale in 12 Tweets - Dead Eyes Open Don't Close

1. Mom said: "Even after a long illness, when you think you are ready, you're not ready."

2. Rushing into the hospital room, my feet stopped at the foot of the bed. I was Silent. Stoic. Stunned.
I heard my Step-Mother's voice: "He just passed. He was waiting for you."

3. I had never seen someone deceased before. I was 32. My Parents always said funerals were for adults. I figured I'd better show a stiff upper lip.

4. Dazed & now looking around the room for the 1st time, I saw a sea of step-cousins standing around Dad's bed. What were they all doing here, I thought?

5. Oh. A Catholic vigil. But, Dad was raised Episcopalian. Later on in life he said he was an Atheist. Don't know if he would have liked that Vigil.

6. So, there I quietly stood. The daughter who did everything I was expected to do. The "good egg" as my Dad often said. Why didn't anyone call me? I would have left work earlier for the vigil. Then again, it would have devastated me.

7. Perusing my dear Dad's face, I wanted to put my head on his chest, or some such sign of affection, but I could sense someone behind me.

8. So, I had the idea to close my Father's eyes. I'd seen it in the movies a million times.

9. Broken hearted, I reached out and tried to close my Dad's eyes, but they bounced back open. Three times. Oh no. What is going on?

10. Suddenly, I heard laughter. "They don't work that way. That's only in the movies. The muscles stay the way the are when people die."

11. Oh, I thought. So, that's that. Here I stand, a bit humiliated. Definitely devastated. My life has changed forever and I'm to much of a dork to know the eyelids don't close, and why has Hollywood shown this final act of kindness for years if it's fake, I thought?

12. Poor Dad. My deceased Daddy with his eyes open. Well, I thought, the Funeral Home will take care of things, and they did. They had him looking like I remembered. Handsome and dignified.
He would have liked that.




   

A Tale in 12 Tweets - I am born.

A Tale in 12 Tweets - I am born, and yet, I am not supposed to be here.

1) Not supposed 2 be here. Born in 1961 at 27 weeks.Weighed 3 lbs. Dropped to 1 lb.,7 oz.
10% chance of living. Baptized the hour I was born.

2) Jaundiced. Rib cages not connected. In an incubator 4 3 mos. Mom, who was so brave & in labor 4 24 hrs., my head the size of a tomato. Feet ended at her elbow.

3) Experimentally, it was thought in order 4 incubated baby 2 avoid eye problems, oxygen was 2 B turned off until baby turns blue, then back on.

4) Mom, artistic in spirit & emotional about this most traumatic birth, would not visit me in the hospital. She thought I was going to die.

5) Dad visited me daily to & from work. He'd ask the Dr. each visit if he could buy baby furniture. Every day, the Doc answered a quiet "No."

6) 6 weeks later, finally, the answer was a reserved "Yes" from the Doc. Dad said this was the happiest day of his life. Mom was still scared.

7) 6 weeks more w/ 1 of 2 preemie baby Drs. in the Country & had no further health issues, & was able to go home! Wish I could meet that Dr. and thank him!

8) Colicky and allergic 2 eggs, now 3 mos. old & 6 lbs., I cried all the time. Mom was scared of me. She still thought I was not going to survive.        

9) Traditional baby photos on the bear skin rug at 9 months old were happy, but I was a skinny baby. It took me 2 years to grow into my age.

10) Later on, my parents went thru bankruptcy & divorce, but they each agreed my difficult birth was the worst thing ever to happen to them.

11) Mom & Dad spoke of my early birth throughout my childhood, but didn't tell me the details until I was 18. My eyes welled up with tears.

12) Medical sciences advance, but the miracle of childbirth is no guarantee. God has his plan. Babies are the most precious gift to parents.

A Tale in 12 Tweets is also on Twitter @kbsquared1961




 

It's 5:00 Somewhere! Have your Cocktail Glass?

It's 5:00 p.m. Somewhere :)
For all above age 21, above is an example of a crystal Cocktail Glass, just to make your drink taste better!
The "Cocktail" before dinner is an American born custom, which came into style shortly after WWI.
Be careful, however, don't drink too many before dinner or you'll be sloshed and end up dancing a jig in front of a crowd at a formal party, just like the character Mosley on Downton Abbey! Cheers!