Traditional Dinner Protocol at The White House

Our Mothers say to us as children: "Mind your table manners, for one day, you may be invited to the White House for dinner." Well, what if you are invited to the White House for dinner? What is the Protocol? The following are a few tips:

• Of course, put the rest of your life on hold. Immediately accept the invitation. Being invited for a meal at the White House is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
• Hand write your response in fine black ink on a fine stationery, folded once. Hand deliver or have delivered by messenger your acceptance as follows: 

Mr. and Mrs. William Wordly

have the honor to accept

the kind invitation of

the President and Mrs. Washington

for dinner on Thursday the twenty-sixth of April

at eight o'clock

• Study up on the following forms of service. Each President chooses what type of service to use in his White House. Forms of service include:
•  Service a la russe (1860's style) was whole food paraded around the dining room on decorated platters, then taken into the kitchen, cut up and served. Women are served first. 
• Service a la russe (Modern style) is a 'gueridon' with a side burner 'rechaud' brought to the table and the dish is prepared in front of the guest. Women are served first. (The Homestead in Virginia still uses this service). 
• Service a la anglaise  Server presents the arranged platter from left and serves the guests, Women are served first. (This style service allows the host to control the portions offered).
• Service a la francaise  Guests serve themselves from the presented platter. Women are presented the platter first. (The Dominican Republic uses this style of service).    
• Service American Style  Food served already on plate.
• Buffet style service has been recently added to the forms of service used at the White House (former President Clinton added this style of service).
•  Arrive at least a few minutes early, and quickly assemble in the Blue Room. Do not linger around in the Foyer or Drawing Room. Exactly like a European court, the President and the First Lady of the Land will descend the Blue Room stairs promptly at eight o'clock.
• When spoken to, one must refer to the President as "Mr. President." One may vary one's answers with "Sir."
• In conversation, always refer to the President as "President Washington", never just plain "Washington," as this practice is considered bad form and is disrespectful of the office. 
•  Refer to the wife of the President as Mrs. Washington, and treat her as you would any formal hostess. 
• Do not sit down until the President and First Lady are seated.
• Touch nothing (not even your napkin) until the President and First Lady place their own napkins on their laps. 
• Place cards will dictate where one sits. If the place card is on top of your plate, place it first to your right, then later, to your left. This way, you will be sure to talk to the person on your right and on your left during your meal. 
• No one gets up during the meal. Not even to the "Powder Room."
• No alcohol is served during the meal.
• The menu is simple and neutral due to many food allergies.
• Most meals are 4 courses. Each course lasts about 20 minutes. Pace yourself to finish your course neither first nor last.
• There is no bread and butter plate and no bread or butter served (messy).
• Sauces served on foods, if at all, are kept to a minimum (drippy).
• Garlic is never used (lingering bad breath).
• Never leave the table until the President and First Lady have withdrawn from the room.
• After the meal, there may be a different venue such as music in the Music Room, and one may have the chance to have your photograph made with the President. Thanks to the thoughtfully planned menu, one can be sure to have decent breath, and no bread-crumbs or sauce on your clothing.
• Clean or nearly clean your plate, so the chef knows you enjoyed your meal. Roland Mesnier, the Executive Chef for the White House for the past 26 years says: "Plates don't lie." : 

These tips were collected and adapted from:

The Richmond Times Dispatch, September 14, 2011, article: "Savor The White House" by Holly Prestidge, and the book: "Etiquette" by Emily Post, 1937.

White Dinner Jacket and Tuxedo Etiquette Tips

Going to a Black Tie party this summer in Tuxedo Park, New York? Going to an evening wedding in Newport or Long Island? Maybe just a simple, lovely dinner with your spouse on a special date night. The following are a few practical tips and a few fun tips you may enjoy:))

"Of course, if you want to be very smart, you must not say anything but "dinner coat" --which is quite all right if those you say it to, know what you mean! At all events, the tuxedo is merely the English dinner coat, which was first introduced in this country at the Tuxedo Club to provide something less formal than the swallowtail, and the nickname has clung ever since."

Tuxedo or White Dinner Jacket (Memorial Day through Labor Day only), should be worn to a Formal Black Tie wedding or party from 6:00 p.m. on, although, I have read that Tux may be worn during daylight hours if, and only if, the daylight goes on into an evening wedding reception or party. So, wearing Tux to a 5:00 p.m. or a 5:30 p.m. wedding or party can be done. Best also, as a precaution, to call and ask what the Father of the Bride, Groom and Groomsmen are wearing.
   
**  My husband and I once attended a Virginia wedding in which a formal thermographed, yet as most would consider now to be old fashioned, wedding invitation was sent without a "Reply Card", so the R.s.v.p. had to be hand written. This traditional summer wedding was at 5:00 p.m. at a small church in the country, and the outdoor reception followed at the country home. The Father of the Bride was in White Tie, the Groom and Groomsmen wore Black Tie. 95% of the male wedding guests wore Black Tie. One person showed up in a White Dinner Jacket (more of an eggshell with a shawl collar - very 'Great Gatsby'). The Bridesmaids were in long dresses, and 90% of all the women showed up in thin, silk, short, knee length, day dresses as opposed to Cocktail Suits, or dressy Tea Length dress of which there were few, as the reception was outside and still 90 degrees at night. My husband was properly dressed in a handsome navy summer wool suit with a silk tie, yet felt like a duck out of water, because only about 5% of the other men had on a suit. It was the strangest wedding I have ever been to as far as fashion. Usually, the women are the ones who overdress. Again, best to check out what the wedding party is wearing.

"The shawl collar is supposed to be less formal than lapels."

"The reason for the turned up cuff is to keep clear of mud." 

"A butterfly bow shape is correct in plain black silk or satin. Fancy evening ties are bad form."

"The most practical hat for town wear in winter, both for full-dress and dinner coat, is an opera hat which collapses, instead of the regular high silk one."

"In summer a straw or gray soft hat is proper, whether in town or country."

The tips in italics are from the 1937 book: "Etiquette" by Emily Post, pages 726 and 727.
**Cautionary tale of woe from the author.

Who Are You Hungry For As Your Saviour: God or The Government?

   As a teenager, how many times did you hear the expression: "As long as you live under our roof, you must abide by our rules." As an adult, you may say to yourself: "Life is what we make it." In the Science Fiction book and movie: "The Hunger Games," we hear the citizens in this post-apocalyptic society repeating in unison, Gandhi's quote: "You be the change you want to see in the world."
   My 12 year old grand-daughter's favorite part of the book was the heroine's ability to live and survive in the woods, hunting her own food with bow and arrow and knowing which berries, nuts, mushrooms and leaves to eat and which were poisonous. In our book club, we discussed why 30 million copies of this youth book were sold and decided teens liked this story for its protagonist, Katniss Everdeen. We follow alongside Katniss in this topical thriller, witness to her transformation from a strong, self-sufficient teenager just wanting to survive the 'Games', to a virtuous, giving woman, willing to sacrifice her own life for the life of another.
   The story unveils the vices of the government worshiping, game playing, game makers: the citizens of District I. The Capitol, called Panem, after the Latin for 'bread' is supposed to be equal to the other 11 Districts, but clearly it is not. In any equal society, someone has to run it, right? Panem's circus-like citizens look like Lilly Pulitzer gone wild in South Beach. These corrupt citizens unknowingly live out the Hellish Seven Deadly Sins in an Orwellian style, Godless, grand scale Reality TV world. The citizens are rich, and sumptuous buffets of food are always present, yet wasted. These privileged government workers are thin because they are so vein, unlike in the other 11 Districts where food is scarce. Government rations are available, but for a price...your life. Every time you take a government ration of food to feed your family and oil to heat your house, your name is entered into the lottery for another chance to be forced into participation as a "Tribute" for "The Hunger Games." Meanwhile, the pampered citizens of Panem are are overdone on plastic surgery, narcissistic, gluttonous in their appetite for greed, wrathful, envious, and brutally shallow craving constant entertainment.
   The President of the 12 Districts, is dignified, charismatic, and TV ready, yet underneath the surface, is a hypocrite, cruel and divisive. Divide and conquer. He says he shows his citizens a little bit of hope by requiring the 'Games" be viewed by every citizen, but thinks too much hope is dangerous. He sounds like Lenin who referred to his citizens as: "Useful idiots." Too much hope may lead to another uprising against the government and undermine their total control. Those in the Capitol, need the plentiful natural resources of the other 11 dirt poor districts to live their luxurious lives, so control is crucial to their survival.    
   This adventure story shows the physiological 'fight or flight' stress reaction. It delves deep into the woods where wild animals are hunted, whether they be man or beast. It explores hatred for those one does not know, hatred for those in the know, and hatred for the government.
   On a different level, this tale tells a tender story of sacrifice, unrequited love, a love of family and friends, and an acceptance of self.
    In our book club discussion, the subject of why suicide never occurred to any one teen as they struggled for survival during the 'Games' was raised. The conclusion was that there was not enough hope and no faith in any type of afterlife within this secular society. The greatest sin was any sin against the all mighty government. A government that cradled you and initially meant to take care of you from birth to death. Ironically, 74 years later, it controlled uncontrollable things like the weather, the sunrise, and the stars.  
   The Capitol district, called Panem, or the Latin for "bread," sacrifice one boy and girl called "Careers" each year for the games. One of these "Careers" usually win as they each train their entire lives for what they call "their honor" to compete. Like a corporate culture, they all drink the Capitol Kool-aid and eat their cake. These sinful citizens of the capital with their fancy fashion and expensive plastic surgery, look like they should be contestants in their own Reality TV show.
   Ironically, it will be one virtuous boy and girl from the other 11 Districts who will be chosen in a lottery and forced to be the real players of "The Hunger Games." This 74th annual competition, a fight to the death, was conceived by the government and serves as punishment for a past rebellion. It also serves as a reminder the government is in control.
  Throughout this moving story, we hear different characters repeating what becomes a familiar line stated annually by a game official: "May the odds be ever in your favour", as though luck is even an option in any government controlled decision about your life. Unlike Reality TV, the ultimate dirty little secret of any "equal" society totally controlled and ultimately corrupted by any one entity ends up eventually to resemble the familiar Darwinian philosophy: "Live and let live."
  

American "Dollar Princesses", Britain's Cash Poor Aristocracy & The Famous Four Hundred

   In watching the hit TV series "Downton Abbey", I thought the character of the American Lady, Cora Crawley, might be loosely based on the famous teenager, Consuelo Vanderbilt. Everyone has heard the story of this bride married off in 1895 by her Mother to the Duke of Marlborough, thus, saving his estate Blenheim Palace where Winston Churchill was born. I felt sorry for Downton Abbey's "Cora" as I thought she might be the only American chatelaine in Britain.
   As it turns out, over 350 American heiresses were married off to British Aristocracy between the 1890's and WWI. Why? Simple reason. The British Aristocracy needed cash to keep their vast estates, and the daughters of the nouveau rich American Industrialists needed Title.
   As a result of these marriages, 25 Billion US dollars rolled into Britain's economy. Soon, As a result of this huge cash infusion, by the end of the 20th Century, 1/4 of The House of Lords had a transatlantic connection.
   Upon closing the marriage contract, these "Dollar Princesses" received their titles, immediately elevating their social status so they and their families could caper about with the established Mayflower and Main Line dynasties of New York and Philadelphia.
   With the new cash influx, the Landed Gentry of Britain could then keep their large estates with their thousands acres of land and grand houses intact. England was suffering not only from an agricultural depression but from a newly implemented tax called the "Death Duty," similar to our Estate Tax here in the US.
    Who were these American heiresses turned Ladies and Countesses? Well, we have all heard of Consuelo Vanderbilt (Railway heiress), but are y'all familiar with Winaretta Singer (sewing machine heiress), Mary Leiter, (Chicago department store heiress), Jennie Jerome (NY real estate developer heiress), Minnie Stevens and Nancy Astor (hotel heiresses). Even Princess Diana's great-grandmother was an American.
   This influx of transatlantic marriages became so popular, entire industries popped up to accommodate their weddings, wedding trousseaus, lifestyles and needs. One such industry was a quarterly publication called: "The Titled American." This publication became the most popular of many publications for American heiresses looking for husbands, titles and instant social status.
   Back during the turn of the last century with the American Industrial Age, there were 1000 Millionaires living in New York.  Mrs. Astor could only fit 400 people into her ballroom, thus, was born the infamous "Four Hundred." Bottom line, Mrs. Astor would not admit the newly rich Vanderbilt's to her ballroom until Consuelo received her title "Duchess of Marlborough."
   Nancy Langhorne Astor, from Danville, Virginia, was the most accomplished of the "Dollar Princesses." She became the first woman Member of Parliament to take up her seat in the House of Commons. The American "Grand Experiment" saved many of Britain's grand estates!          

Smarmy, Smart Aleck Snap Judgements and Small Business

   Last weekend over the holiday, a dear relative's jewelry store was robbed. A professional gang of thieves rivaling the movie "Oceans 11" cleaned out this small business owner.
    They broke the lights and surveillance cameras outside the store, cut the electricity and cut the shopping center's phone lines so the store alarm would not go off. Then they pried, sawed, cut, clipped and wedged their way through 2 back doors and a huge iron gate to get inside the jewelry store.
   Once inside the store, the first layer of security kicked in. Thick black smoke permeated the entirety of the store. The thieves waited it out. After the smoke cleared, they removed dozens of trip wires that if tripped on would have caused them to fall into about 50, 10' boards on the floors with 4" nails sticking up out of the boards. These criminals then methodically took up all the boards and piled them neatly up against the edges of the floor of the store.
   Then with high powered, specialized saws, these thugs cut through one 6' tall, large safe with 3 doors and concrete between each door. They also cut into two other smaller safes with these saws.
   These criminals then took the time to hunt, peck and pick out from each display case, every diamond ring, pearl necklace and silver bracelet in the store and pitched each little white and gold display box onto the floor. They must have had a "spotter" across the street as each of the 15 or so display cases had three shelves of merchandise.
   By coincidence, my relative drove by the store apparently on the very evening of the robbery, and all appeared fine, but he did not stop to go inside the store as his wife was with him and they were on their way to a family holiday party. Small miracle.
   When our local paper and local TV media covered this story, they did not focus on the fact that a professionally organized and expertly equipped gang of thieves took what was not theirs. They did not focus on the blessing that no one was killed or injured. They did not focus on the fact that a small business owner and generous contributor to the community for 25 years may now have to close his very popular "Brick and Mortar" jewelry store. They did not focus on the 4 employees who were now each out of a job and the impact their job losses will have on their families. No, the media kept focusing on one perceived negative.
   Because of an armed robbery attempt 17 years ago and great difficulty with a very small claim a few years ago, the owner was forced into a difficult decision: re-new his very expensive insurance (which as those with business experience know, insurance policies may or may not pay off), or be forced to let-go employees, cut employee health insurance coverage, cut hours, cut services, etc.
   Insurance for this small business had become increasingly and so exorbitantly costly, the "Cost of Sales," (yes, it is a Retail formula), was not high enough to reach the desired, small profit margin, so the owner could no longer afford an insurance company policy for his small business.
    The owner, not wanting to lay off employees, especially in today's economic environment, chose instead to install the three aforementioned levels of homemade security, keep his alarm system, and keep all his employees employed.
   How many other small businesses in this country have suffered the same scenario and have been forced into this same difficult decision?
   Next, came the "Top Commenter" under the "Comments" section below the article in the local paper and comments on Facebook and the Bloggers. Some snipped off their smart aleck, smarmy words on the seemingly anonymous Internet with their quick quips and snap judgements having limited snippets of information, never having spoken to the owner and never having shopped in the store. Apparently, their motivation is to appear as though they are the smartest, wittiest, sassiest, most popular persons in the room.  
   Isn't the press supposed to first fully know all the facts, speak with all sources, weigh each fact carefully, then objectively and judiciously report? Is the world so fast now that some in the press have to jump to snap judgements? 
    Then, these uninformed, either/or, black or white, jaded, negative attention seekers, bail out and move onto the next hit story and running victim. The next snarky snap judgement.
   My college Freshman year handbook test boiled down to 4 words: Ignorance is no excuse. Well, one "Top Commenter" said: "He (the owner) deliberately gave up insurance and (inside store) security cameras--he created this reality and now has to live with it." They later commented it was: "easy to keep insurance." Deliberately? Easy? Really? Life is rarely so simple.
   This "Top Commenter" looks from the Profile photo on Facebook to be quite young. Certainly not old enough to have owned and run a small business for 25 years, 6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day, and 16-18 hours a day during holiday seasons. This "Top Commenter" most likely has not had to meet payroll or pay payroll taxes, local taxes, state taxes, federal taxes, rent, lights, CAM charges, or worry.
   Worry if you'll have a good Christmas season so you can re-new your lease. Worry about an employee who is having a hard time with their family. Worry about meeting payroll during slow weeks. Worry if you will be robbed again when inside the store. Worry if the trash was emptied.
  Well, I have one quote for the quick to judge: Judge not, that you be not judge. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get," Matthew:1:1-2.
     www.timesdispatch.com see article: "Burglars take $2M in inventory from Henrico jeweler" ,"Top Commenter" comment, January 6, 2012

Never Forget and Always Remember 9-11.

Those who are gone are never forgotten as long as we remember!

May Heaven preserve and keep thee,

From every sorrow free,

And grant thee every blessing,

My earnest wish for thee.

Your Friend,

Mary Gleich

June 21, 1906

Photo of Central Park, 1912

 

Letter To The Editor - Go East - The September Issue, Vogue Magazine

Dear Ms. Wintour,
   Imagine my glee when upon opening your September Issue, the largest issue of each year, for many years, the issue industry insiders, designers, advertisers, and the rest of America waits for with Manolo's on, to find y'all shot your main fashion story in China. As lovely as the Great Wall was, I'm sure, here's what; how about shooting your main fashion story every month in America. American cities. American landmarks. In case y'all up there in your own Tra la la land have not stuck your heads out of your offices lately, there  are approximately 25 million Americans out of work. Give local photographers, lighting crews, models, and local designers a chance, a look-see, a job.

Respectfully submitted,

Katherine Barrett Baker
Manakin-Sabot, Virginia