Fair may be for Faerie Tales but for "Zuzu," It has been an unfair yet sometimes "Wonderful Life."

We all deserve a wonderful life, n'est-ce pas? However, in the real world, life is not fair. Childhood is no fair. Bullies are not fair. Adulthood is not fair. The working world is not fair. Criticism is not fair. Failing and falling down in life is not fair. Sickness and death are not fair. Human nature is not fair. Fair may be for Faerie Tales, but how can you have a wonderful life if you have a life of many failings and days and years of nightmares? The actress who played "Zuzu" in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" has had just this type of life.
   Karolyn Grimes played the character "Zuzu" in the 1946 production of: "It's a Wonderful Life"at the age of about 6 years old. She says it was one of the best experiences of her life and shaped the way she thought about life and faith as she grew older. As it turns out, she needed that positive memory in her life as it was about to turn very hard.
   Her Mother died when she was 12. Her Father tragically died in a car crash when she was 15. She was sent to live with an Aunt and Uncle who were extremely religious and did not believe in movies, dancing, singing or laughing. Married off young, Karolyn Grimes divorced her first husband who later himself died in a hunting accident. Her second husband died from Cancer. Her Son committed suicide when he was 18 years of age. She does have 2 daughters, but they are both single Mothers.
   Karolyn Grimes could have easily fallen into a life of self pity and misery. She could have abused alcohol and drugs and blamed her condition on her life's circumstances or blamed everyone else. How does she keep her attitude positive? How does she get up every morning and why does she help others? Why indeed!
   Ms. Grimes, age 71, speaks to groups about her experience as a child in making the movie and its message. She says the movie is not about anything religious, but has an intrinsically Christian message of asking God for help in showing us the way through this life of constant change when life gets really hard. The movie also sends the most basic Christian message which tells us to treat others as we wish to be treated.
   In life, it is not that we fall down and fail because we all fail, over and over again. It is what we learn from the failing and how we rise each time that counts. If you have never failed or fallen, you are not trying hard enough.
   Our faith in our God and in ourselves every day is also what does get us through this life. Every day is not fair. Life is not supposed to be a Faerie Tale, but we would not appreciate every good day if we did not ever have a bad day. Through true hard work and giving of ourselves even on bad days we will eventually succeed.  
   By rising every morning to speak and by doing good works for people, Karolyn Grimes has exhibited true charity and grace in the face of so much sadness. She has had a hard  life but has 2 wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Friends and family are what matter in this sometimes unfair but sometimes wonderful life.

Truths For Mature Humans List and the Rebuttal

   Don't we just love these FWD:, FWD:, e-mail lists that show up in our "in boxes?" Who compiles these lists filling them with tidy tid-bits of alleged wisdom? "They" are set on helping us (I reckon), but are "they" really helping us, or are "they" just spewing hatred, frustration and negative thoughts our way, meant to be cleaver and rebellious? I recon your own answer depends whether or not you are a 'glass half full' or a 'glass half empty thinker.
   First, I'll list the original "Truths For Mature Humans" in parentheses with a number, then below, offer my own rebuttal in italics and marked with a button. If you would be so kind, dear reader, please let me know which list you prefer.

Truths for Mature Humans:

"1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die."

• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately contact family and friends, help to clean the decedent's house, then, if o.k. with the family, take your friend's computer to a computer store service counter, have them erase all cookies and files on the computer, update it and "de-fragment" the computer, then donate the gently "used" computer to the family's charity of choice.

"2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong."

• Firstly, the word "suck" is not a nice word at all. Secondly, never ever begin, take part in, or end an argument unless you know you are 100% correct. 

"3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."

• Never mind "woulda, coulda, shoulda." Live in the present, and presently, take a nap if you can.

"4. There is great need for a sarcasm font."

• Sass will bite you in the a** every time. Just don't comment.

"5. How the h*!! are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?"

• Ask any married lady. She will show you. The folding process involves placing all 4 fitted corners together around your out stretched arm and fist. Brilliant!!

"6. Was learning cursive really necessary?"

• Apparently not, as schools are no longer teaching printing to students. Personally, cursive helped me to take notes and write drafts for papers very fast in college.  

"7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my 
      neighborhood.

• Get a GPS. Map Quest is better than it used to be and it is great for a backup plan in case your British GPS lady gets you lost. By the way, my husband and I both get lost getting out of a paper bag, never mind our own neighborhood.

"8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died."

• Why would the manner of death be more interesting than how the person lived? My Sister is a Hospice RN and I am a Hospice volunteer and CNA. I do not really care to know how the person passed, unless the family wants everyone to know. 

"9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired."

• No one else is going to take care of you for you, so you'd better learn how to take care of yourself and take time for yourself or you will burn yourself out and be good to no one including yourself.

"10. Bad decisions make good stories."

• Bad decisions, one after another, make for fun cocktail fodder for everyone else, but make for a most miserable life for you. Most decisions are made out of fear or emotion. Get a new set of friends, seek out advise from a different relative, get a new therapist, a new boyfriend, a new priest, pastor, minister, rabbi or guru. Buy a self help book or take a self help class. Ask a new anyone to help you recognise when you are making bad decisions for yourself. Listen. Be open and ready to accept some hard criticism. Again, bad decisions make for a bad life. 

"11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you  
        just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day."

• So you have hit a wall. So what. Delegate the responsibility to someone else while you take a 15-20 minute break and go get a coffee or get a quick bite to eat. Clear your mind. Come back to work ready to finish the task at hand. After work, go home and go to bed early. When you wake up the next morning, eat a healthy, protein filled breakfast.

"12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my
        collection ...again."

• Why is anyone wasting money on any collection of anything that will not rise in value over time? Realistically, with Cable TV, movie channels, PPV, Netflix, and the Internet, how many of those dusty movies in that old cabinet have you watched lately?  

"13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes
        to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to."

• Print out any report or short story BEFORE you even attempt to exit it just in case the "stoopid compooter" spaces out and erases the document. Hit "Save" twice and hit "Backup." Also, don't end a sentence with a preposition. 

"14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call."

• Most things are OK in moderation. Discreet screening is OK also in moderation. 

"15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well."

• My 15 year old "on sale" side by side refrigerator from Lowe's has a light also on the freezer side ...how old is your freezer? From 1973?

"16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses
        begin with Miller Lite than Kay Jewelers."

• Alcohol or jewelry bringing more kisses??... Hmmmm. This is like arguing which sport is more dangerous: Horse Back Riding or Motorcycling?  

"17. I have a hard time trying to decipher the fine line between boredom and hunger."

• If you are so burned out you cannot decide whether or not you are tired or hungry, it is time to take a nice bath and go to bed!

"18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still
        did not hear or did not understand a word the other person said?"

• My husband is deaf in one ear as are many of his male friends his age.He also has limited hearing in the other ear. He often says to me he can only hear about 1/3 of any numerous conversations at restaurants and social functions. He also cannot hear well at the movies or theatre. He simply says nothing and smiles, then asks me later what was said. Works every time! (p.s. As a man, at this time, a hearing aid is simply not going to happen). 

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent the jerk from
           cutting in at the front of the line."

• Speaking earlier about bad decisions... if you relax, drive a bit slower and stay to yourself, you will not involve yourself in a possible "Road Rage" incident. Who needs it? So what if you arrive at your destination 2 minutes later. Not worth potentially risking your life. 

"20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants and skirts? Pants and skirts never get dirty and can be
        worn forever."

• What? Eeewww! Wear pants and skirts until they either get wrinkled, stretched out or until they have a spot.

"21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is."

• Again, time for a coffee, a nap, or to go to bed a bit earlier. Take time to take better care of yourself because no one else is going to take care of you.

"22. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their
      cell phone, and playing 'Pinning the Tail on the Donkey,' but I'd bet everyone can find and push the
      'Snooze' button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time."

• Yet again, from experience, if you must constantly hit the 'snooze' button, you desperately need to simplify your life. If you cannot manage your time better, ask someone else to help you prioritize your time so you can get to bed earlier!

As a former fierce workaholic and extremely competitive Retail Manager having worked 14-20 hours a day, 5-7 days a week for 15 years, taking 4 consecutive days of vacation (with the one exception of 10 days vacation when my Father passed away), I can say with the knowledge of hindsight and a bit of wisdom: everyone from time to time needs to learn how to ask for help. Everyone needs to learn how to delegate responsibility and how to recognise when one must step back a bit and re-evaluate one's priorities and take charge to take care of oneself. No one else is going to take care of you for yourself.

Take care! 

What separates the 95% from the 5%? Being "Poisd For Success"

Many years ago I listened to an interviewer ask: "What separates the men from the boys?" The answer is a simple "5%." Simple, you say?

     Jacqueline Whitmore's book "Poised For Success" is a candid, insightful and practical peak inside the four pillars of etiquette: presence, polish, professionalism and passion. Inside this Tiffany colored jewel of an etiquette book, she simply shows us how we may attain that extra 5%, separating us from our competition at work and in life. In an increasingly competitive and often uncivil world climate, we could all use a bit of polish combined with a tad of compassion and common sense. 

   Many of the tastier tidbits from Mrs. Whitmore's book help the reader maintain an authoritative position amongst work peers and friends. Jacqueline Whitmore starts out with the basics. She has us amortizing our wardrobe so our classic clothes last for many years, always looking chic, and remaining a 5% cut above everyone else in the room. She warns us to be wary of "Casual Friday" at work. This day off from formal business dress does not mean we show up at work looking like we are cleaning out our garage. Mrs. Whitmore encourages us to practice talking to a few folks we do not know at office functions and social events. She asks us to try to maintain an inquiring mind. She tells us how to graciously ask for what we want at work. As a host or hostess, she gives us tips and insight into how to share with our guests and have them feel at ease without spending stupid amounts of money on extemporaneous diversions that do not matter. Mrs. Whitmore also covers social media Do's and Dont's. Lastly, she covers the importance of our follow through skills and how to follow our passion. 

   In the end, other people may not remember what we gave them or did for them, but they will remember how we made them feel, going back to the number one etiquette rule: "Leaders always make other people feel special."

   Jacqueline Whitmore's "Poised For Success" is indeed a special, common sense read simplifying what may not appear to be simple for some of us. Enjoy!

How To Get Rid of Wine, Gum, Grass, Chocolate Stains and More On Your Wash and Wear Clothes

Here are a few helpful household tips on how to get rid of the following stains on the wash and wear clothes you launder. Please, do not try these tips on "Dry Clean Only" clothes. Take the "Dry Clean Only" clothes to your Dry Cleaner.

• Chocolate: Make a paste out of borax and water. Dab it on the chocolate stain. Wait for the paste to dry. Throw it in the laundry as usual.
• Red Wine: As soon as possible, soak the fabric in cold water. Mix 50% hydrogen peroxide and liquid glycerin soap in a bowl. Dab the stain with this mixture and let it sit for a minute. Then, continue blotting until the stain disappears. Launder as usual.
• Blood: Place garment in cold water as soon as possible. Dab with glycerin soap and continue to soak for a few hours. Rinse, then gently dab stain with hydrogen peroxide. Repeat this process if necessary. Launder and dry garment as usual. 
•  Grass: Make a paste with baking soda and water. Soak the stained part of the garment in vinegar. Before the vinegar dries, touch up the stain with the paste mixture. Wash in hot water.
• Mustard: Rub the stain with glycerin soap until the stain is well coated. Let the garment then sit for 30 minutes or more. Wash as usual. 
• Butter: Make a paste out of baking soda and water. Dab the paste onto the butter stain. Let the paste dry. Wash garment as usual.
• Gum: Freeze garment in the freezer overnight. Gum should come off easily when puled off. Then, wash garment as usual.  

  Again, DO NOT use or try these tips on "Dry clean Only" garments. Good luck!

Funeral Etiquette - Leave the Dumb Smart Phone in The Car

   Even when we think we are ready, we are not ready. Sometimes expected, sometimes unexpected, funerals are hard and sad. The day of death is the hardest day. The funeral is the second hardest day. Forever remembered will be what goes on at the service and interment.
   So, please, dear reader, leave the dumb smart phone in your car just as you do when in a courthouse. The world will wait for you. Just for a few precious hours, focus your complete attention on the bereaved. Keep your voice low and your comments short and sweet. No jokes. No quips. No sass. Your quiet presence by itself will be forever precious to the bereaved.
   Send a small perennial flowering plant to arrive a few days after the funeral. The Funeral flowers will die after one week. A plant can be re-planted, and flowering perennials last year after year.
   Write a nice letter to arrive a few days after the funeral when things calm down. Focus the letter solely on the bereaved. Tell the recipient what a good person they are, for example: a good Daughter/Wife/Son/Brother, etc. Highlight their positive attributes.
   The most appreciated act of kindness you can perform at a funeral is to be present, be kind, make eye contact and acknowledge everyone. Pause, look and listen.      

Never Forget and Always Remember 9-11.

Those who are gone are never forgotten as long as we remember!

May Heaven preserve and keep thee,

From every sorrow free,

And grant thee every blessing,

My earnest wish for thee.

Your Friend,

Mary Gleich

June 21, 1906

Photo of Central Park, 1912

 

Say You're the Boss and Happy Labor Day!

To Carrie,

When you are married,

And your husband is cross,

Take hold of the broom,

And say you're the boss.

Emma Campbell

December 29, 1905 

Happy Labor Day!

Photo is of the cannon on 89th Street and Riverside Drive near The Soldiers and Sailors Monument, NYC 1907