Rejection - Are You Trying Hard Enough? LOL!

Last night on the way home from Book Club, I stopped by my favorite store, Barnes & Noble, for a cup of coffee and to peruse the new books out for summer reading.
Crowded around one book table were three young women actively looking at one book, consistently turning the pages, giggling, laughing, interacting, and exuding Oohs and Ahas. I was curious. What were they reading that was so involving?
It was a book compiled with nothing else other than copies of rejection letters**. Letters from personal relationships to job interviews to living situations and artistic endeavors. These actual rejection letters were real pieces of peoples' lives, and it got me thinking about rejection.
These people had put themselves out there in life personally, creatively and professionally. They were trying. They were doing. Actively living life, constantly taking chances with their hearts, their creative talents, their ideas, their souls.
My Mother's boyfriend of 35 years always says: "If you do not fail at least three times in your life, you are not trying hard enough." It is true!
We have all heard the story of Alexander Graham Bell. Seventy two rejections before being successful at inventing the light bulb. Have y'all heard the story of Ted Turner? Everyone told him 24 hour Cable news was stupid and would fail because they thought no one would ever be interested in watching 24 hour news. Have y'all heard the story of first time author, Katheryn Stockett? She sent 45 publishers the manuscript for her book: "The Help" before one publisher agreed to publish her now best selling book.
Myself, I was single for twenty years before marrying a great man! Yes, 20 years of 20 questions. Absolutely had to constantly actively participate in meeting and dating men, keeping in mind my state of mind, trying to remain positive and fun along with maintaining integrity and a good sense of self worth. One of my roommates in New York (a model for Elite Agency) every morning, with coffee in hand on the way to the shower would say: "It's not easy," and would laugh out loud.

Laughter is definitely the key, LOL!!

**"Other People's Rejection Letters: Relationship Enders, Career Killers, and 150 Other Letters You'll Be Glad You Didn't Receive." Edited by Bill Shapiro. Clarkson Potter Publishers, New York.

Could Cursing Be The New Cool?

Uncle Jim and I had to have a talk with our 14 year old Nephew about using curse words on Face book a few months ago. He was using the "D-word," and as a gifted student, of course, he wants to go to Harvard. We told him that not only will prospective colleges be looking at his Face book page, but that Harvard students should indeed posses a lovely and creative, varied vocabulary. Not common curse words.
Speaking of Harvard, am I hallucinating, sounding like an old etiquette lady, or did our President use the "A-word" in an interview with Matt Lauer last week, and mouth the f-word in his sentence: "This is a big f-ing dinner," at a White House Correspondents Dinner last month? So sorry Harvard, but this is not higher learning.
At the MTV 2 hour awards show last Sunday night, MSNBC reported the f-bomb was dropped 47 times. Forty-seven. Pardon me? There stood our teenagers' role models, rising singers and up and coming movie stars, up on the awards podium saying: "I love 'so-in-so' so much, I want to f*** her/him." Lower learning for sure.
Dude, did I miss something? Could cursing be the new cool?
Yes, times are a bit tight, and perhaps tough lately. We are more cautious with our money, saving a little more and holding onto our jobs. Yes, agreed. We need to burn off a bit of steam, but when did we become so crass? Yes, we also know that "Jollywood" does not always turn out the brightest or most mannerly talent, but has our society been so "dummed down" that Harvard graduates know no other words save curse words?
I am sure I sound like an old fuddy duddy or mercy me, like my Mother, but maybe we as a country need more Mothering. Maybe we need to remember or have our Mothers remind us of who we should strive to be and how much we can accomplish with a higher learning and a higher purpose.

Summer Travel Tips for Long Distance Travelers

What is the difference in traveling in my car for business for years and now traveling long distance on a plane for pleasure? Not much. The following are a few tips to help the long distance traveler.

• Whether in a car or on a plane, dress in plain, classic Navy or Black jersey material and layer. Hot cars and hot planes are par for the course. I always wear a matching shell and a Jacket with pants and have a matching skirt packed. Jersey material needs no ironing, is light for packing, comfortable and always appropriate. Bring a pair of white cotton footie's with you on the plane in case it is cold.
• In your car, bring a small cooler filled with water and some cheese sticks, or raw, unsalted nuts in your car (almonds are my favorite) using those re-usable freezer packs so you do not have to fret about melting ice. This way, you do not have to stop and pay exorbitant prices for drinks and you have healthy snacks.
• On a plane, bring some crackers for air sickness and unsalted, raw nuts for protein with you. Be sure to purchase water for your plane ride once inside your gate. Very often today, flights cannot be counted on to serve everyone. Hydration is the key to plane travel. Do not drink too much caffeine or alcohol as they increase dehydration.
• Seated stretching and deep breathing exercises are helpful. On the plane, try to get up and walk around at a minimum every hour. Walk to the restroom to wash your hands, or go to the back of the plane and stand a bit with the stewardesses.
• Preset your watch. Eat when you are hungry.
• After a long flight, go outside A.S.A.P. Research suggests sunlight helps reset the natural body clock. Walking outside in natural light does help your body clock too.
• Jet lag is worse going from west to east. Do not take a nap. Try to stay up until 9:00 or 10:00 pm. A shower or bath will help relax you if you cannot fall asleep.
• Aerobic exercise can also reduce jet lag. Try to stay in a hotel with a fitness room and schedule some of your time for exercise.
• Be alert, walk deliberately, dress conservatively, travel lightly, and never announce your name, address and phone number in public. I always hand the desk clerk or concierge my business card with all pertinent information.
• Do not bring valuable or sentimental jewelry that you will be crying in your soup if you loose, photocopy your passport and bring 2 extra passport photos, use covered luggage tags, book non-stop flights if possible, and take only officially marked taxis.

Plan a Bit and Travel Safely!

Back In The Day Can Be Today...Women Used To Never...

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together"

Gratitude is the fairest flower that springs from the soul, and no man knoweth any more fragrant.
Catherine Mills
January 29, 1906

Just a quick, fun fact posting today. Did you know women used to never do certain things, rather they had gentlemen do these certain things for them. Ladies, you can still graciously have these things done for you. It's good for the men. It gives them a simple task to perform that makes them feel important!

• Ladies, DO NOT stand at a bar in a bar, restaurant, nightclub or wedding reception and order your own drink. Ask a gentleman or your date or husband to order a drink for you. Nicely tell them what drink you would like. Thank them graciously. Enjoy!


• Ladies, DO NOT light your own cigarette (for those few who still smoke). Ask a gentleman, your date or husband for a light. Even, pull our your cigarette, place it in your mouth and fumble for a lighter in your purse, and see what happens! Thank them graciously. Enjoy!

Just a few simple tasks Men can enjoy performing for ladies and it's nice! Simple pleasures in life we all can enjoy!

Single In The City Summer Travel Tips

As a 'Single In The City' gal for 20 years, the following are a few travel tips, for any big city, I learned along the way. Also thrown in are some great tips from my Mother!

• Dress up, just a bit, when traveling, as some nicer restaurants do not allow jeans on men, shorts or flip-flops. Also, please leave the dirty tennis shoes at home. Basically, just try NOT to look like you are cleaning our your garage. Simple and chic style is always better. Jersey material for women travels well, needs no ironing, wears nicely and is light. No wonder Coco Chanel used this material! Long Khaki pants for men always works, and please men, tuck your shirts IN and wear a belt.


• If you need the restroom, go into the fanciest hotel you can find and find their public, clean, beautiful restrooms on the first floor. Act like you belong there, as you will already be dressed like you belong!! Have a dollar ready for a tip or a fee. The French West Indies Mall in Marigot, St. Martin, charges $1 US. The Plaza in NYC has attendants. The Mill House in Charleston is free, and they have a bar open all day with fresh ice cream for the children!! You can have a cool drink inside, or out on the patio and you can treat the kids to luxurious, cool ice cream!!


• Walk deliberately and look straight ahead. Do not lolly-gag and meander around the sidewalk and gaze up at all the buildings. You will appear to be a tourist, therefore, a target. Go to an observatory or restaurant with a view to look at all the buildings.


• If you ever need to get away from any situation for any reason, duck into an apartment building with a doorman, or any hotel and find the front desk, or restaurant and find the hostess or maitre'd.


• Always bring along some light reading material; a small paperback book, magazine or daily paper to read on a bus or subway or while waiting in line. This way you can avoid eye contact and conversation with those you do not want to speak with. Cell phones are OK, but people are less likely to interrupt someone reading.


• Always have a few small bills and some change with you for a bus, parking, subway, pay phone, cab, hot dog, cup of coffee, or a cash tip.


• Travel with a thin travel wallet/billfold. Only take what you need. Leave at home photos, voter ID, and any other cards you do not need and that will be difficult to replace. Only take one credit or debit card. Write down the 1-800 number needed in case you loose your wallet or it is stolen, and keep it in a separate place.


• Always travel with jewelry you will NOT be crying in your soup if you loose or it is stolen. Also, always keep your jewelry on your person or in the hotel safe or a room safe. Do not use your phone number or street number or birthday for the safe pass code.


• Bring a disposable camera instead of your best and only camera, and have fun!


• Do not be where you are not supposed to be when you are not supposed to be there. As long as you are around people, you are OK. In case of emergency, yell "Fire" instead of "Help." People run towards a fire and away from someone yelling help.

Remember, Friends & Family Are Forever - Happy Memorial Day

From my Book; Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together:

In Memory of All of Our Fallen: Soldiers and Sailors Monument,

New York City, 1907

Robious Middle School 6th Graders Take An Etiquette Exam!

Below is a link to a video of our own Robious Middle School in Richmond, Va., and the 6th Grade Etiquette Final Exam on Table Manners at The Salisbury Country Club.

Parents, don't worry! It's NOT a reflection on your parenting skills that these young people had to take lessons on table manners and how to manipulate their flatware, learn which fork is the salad fork and why they must pass the salt AND pepper.

In this busy day and age of Kids Menus, fast food and finger foods, not all families eat at the table often enough, or at all. Young people tell me they eat french fries and chicken nuggets with their fingers in front of their own TV or computer in their room, or in the car on the way home from soccer practice. Practice does make perfect, and knowledge gives each young person the confidence to eat, as they say: "At the big table," in an adult world when necessary.

So please pause a mere minute, watch the video, listen to the confident voices of the children and enjoy!

p.s. One must pass the salt AND pepper because in passing only the salt, the other person may later decide they then want the pepper, and by passing both, you are anticipating their next need. plus, they do not have to interrupt again to ask for something they did not know they wanted.

p.p.s. For parents out there looking for college scholarships: the latest trend is for the college/university to invite all their scholarship contenders to a fancy lunch. If you do not pass the salt AND pepper, you do not get the scholarship. Also, if you do not know which fork is your fish fork, or salad fork, they may as well "stick a fork in you because you are done!"

www.midlothianexchange.com/index.php/video/