Unintended Consequences of Free Speech Without Also Teaching Tolerance

Unintended consequences from our behavior, whether it be well intended or not. Consequences with well meaning government programs. Consequences of War. Consequences on the Internet, Talk Radio and 24 hour Cable News, especially with, as I like to call it, "Talk TV."
The well intending producers of these 24 hour cable news shows want the "Talking Heads" fighting with their guests because it raises ratings. High ratings mean more money.
Remember The Jerry Springer Show from many years ago? His was the first TV show that raised its ratings because his guests were regularly paid extra by producers not to simply fight with words, but to take punches at each other with their fists.
Fighting with fists or fighting with words, well intended or not, this 24 hour bickering is seeping into our psyche and society, daily behaviors, and the little ways we treat each other. What happened to the Puritan, Christian valued society of our founders?
We are now an "either/or" society. Everyone voicing their opinions on Facebook, Twitter, Internet blogs, radio, etc. Nothing wrong with free speech, but, does it have to be so angry? Also, when did we figure we had to be on one side or the other? Why do we have to say Merry Christmas OR Happy Holidays? Why can't we say Merry Christmas to our Christian friends AND Happy Holidays to our non-Christian friends? Why one side OR the other? Why not BOTH? Have we become so ETHNOCENTRIC?
The unintended consequence of our bickering combined with the changing face of America, is that we are entering into an uncivil society, as we have not been teaching tolerance. Free speech with tolerance. We CAN agree to disagree.

How to be a Successful Internationalist, Not an "Ugly American"

We share the planet with 6 Billion people who speak 6,000 different languages along with all those foreign cultural differences and customs. Americans are known around the world as ETHNOCENTRIC, meaning we know only about our own culture, and do not demonstrate any interest in learning about other cultures. We are also known for only speaking English, and expecting everyone else to speak English. Like in the movies, if they do not understand us, we just start speaking slower and louder.


The "Ugly American" traveler. They make us wince, whinny and purse our lips while breathing in! We've all seen them and their circus antic behavior. Their louder than life voice levels, like listening to stock boys talking about the night before at the grocery store. Their packed fanny packs around their already rotund waists. Their ill fitting, badly fashioned shorts and un tucked shirts. Do not even get me started on those dirty, icky running shoes, although these people look as though they have not 'run' in quite a while. What to do? What to do?



The following are a few tips to help all who wish to be fabulous travelers. I'll throw in a few fine fashionista tips too!

Good mistakes from trying are better than bad mistakes from not trying. Good mistakes include:

• Knowing a few "magic words" in their language (may I, thank you, please) as well as a few necessary phrases and trying to speak the language thus showing respect.
• Mispronunciation of their language (unless in Paris).
• Being aware of and trying their customs (handshaking, bowing, eye contact, stance).
• Being aware of their culture, trends and taboos and trying to blend into their culture (fashion, mass transportation, religion, gift giving, flowers).
• Being aware of their local cuisine and trying their food and specialties in every restaurant and street cart and at every meal, (save the visit to McDonald's for home).
• Eating in the style everyone else eats (Continental Style in Europe, chop sticks in Asia, right hand in the Middle East.)

To be a Successful Internationalist:

• Please know the name of the President or Prime Minister.
• Please know the political system.
• Be aware of the language(s) spoken.
• Know the official name of the country.
• Know the collective name for its people.

To be further successful:

• Show respect always.
• Be considerate always.
• Remain non-judgemental in attitude.
• Remain open-minded to all situations.
• Observe, ask and listen

To be successful with your fashion:

• Leave the college jeans, sloppy shorts and dirty tennis shoes at home.
• For young ladies, new, nicely fitted, fancy "girl jeans" may be an exception....
• Ladies, please pay attention to local fashion and possible religious customs such as in the Middle East.
• For ladies, jersey fabric is light, looks good, needs no ironing and travels splendidly!
• Ladies, a light floral long scarf or plain pashmina is a great accessory tied around your neck, waist or purse and warm cover up for the plane.
• Always remove hats, sunglasses and gloves when inside.
• Never shake hands with your other hand in your pocket and gentlemen, please keep your hands out of your pockets.
• Gentlemen always wear long pants in the evening and especially anywhere for dinner.

Any library or bookstore will have travel books. Please peruse them, read them, take notes.

A modicum of planning will be immeasurably helpful to your traveling manners.

Bon chance et Au Revoir, y'all!

How Girls Fight and Wise Words from Wise People to Live By Ever Day

My Mother has always said: "Girls fight with words," and do they ever. Today's girls also apparently fight with technologies, such as texting.
My brilliant suite-mate from college has a twelve year old entrepreneurial daughter who has a successful blog of her own: The Success Princess. She is well written and wise beyond her years, does not watch television, is polite and plays the violin. Yesterday, she was caught up in one of her first "Girl Dramas" at her school. Remember 6th grade?
Her best friend apparently sent her a text accusing this lovely twelve year old, The Success Princess, of calling her the "B" word to another mutual friend. Texting girl drama!
Earlier last year, I quoted what a wise woman of the world said, and here are these words again:
"If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend your years building, someone may destroy overnight, build it anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give the world the best you have got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa

I keep this saying on my kitchen window and read it when not needed and read it more when needed.
Also, I think it was Churchill that said something like:
"Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up!"

Homespun Homeopathic Recipes For Your Epithelium

How much of your hard earned money do you spend per year on skin care products? Do you buy specific products at the grocery store or spend your lunch money on those fancy cosmetic counter products?

Everyone knows, Epithelial cells, or the skin, referred to as the Integumentary System, is the largest organ in your body! While a diet of many fresh fruits and vegetables keep your skin glowing from the dermis down, here are some tips to keep your skin glowing on the top layers! Pamper yourself instead with the following common products easily found in any home:

• Smash 2 bananas and mix in 1 pat of butter in a bowl. Add a ripe avocado and mix. Smear on your face as a mask and leave for 20 minutes.
• Spritzing a bit of baby oil in a warm bath and soaking for 15 minutes will soften your dry skin anytime.
• Be careful with bath salts. Their aroma is appealing, but they tend to dry one's skin.
• To exfoliate your skin, place a mixture of lemon and sugar on your skin and rub into your skin.
• Another exfoliation remedy is mixing Cheerios, honey and lemon on your skin.
• A whipped egg white placed on your face for 10 minutes will act as a mask and revitalize your skin.
• Chop a cucumber and place into an ice tray (no water needed) and freeze into cubes. Place cubes below eyes and let the cubes melt.
• A fantastic eye makeup remover is plain old petroleum jelly! Try it!

These homespun recipes work well, so pamper yourself frugally and save your lunch money for lunch!

Tell Us Your Favorite Spring Break Travel Tip

Dear Readers,
Spring Break is upon us. Where and how are you traveling? Do you have a favorite travel tip to share? Please leave a travel tip and any comments below in the comment box.

Travel safely and enjoy!

The First 10 of George Washington's 100 "Rules of Civility" Updated!

From my book: "Forget-Me-Not, Forget-Me-Never, Remember The Fun We Had Together:"

If pleasures path you wish to see,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak, of whom you speak,
And when, and how, and where.

Florence Gaynor
June 21, 1906


At 16 years of age, George Washington wrote his own 100 "Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation" and published them into a book. He lived by these 100 rules most of the rest of his life.


Some sharp students at The University of Virginia are updating these 100 rules in their own study called "The Civility Project." The following are The Sabot School of Etiquette's modern take on the first ten of these rules:


1. Washington: "Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are present."

1. SSOE: Stand up straight and for introductions, keep your hands at your side, look people directly in the eyes, and smile. Seeing the BAFTA awards on BBC this weekend, I saw the actress Kristin Stewart from the popular "Twilight" movies accept an award. I watched in horror as she vigorously scratched her head with all fingers and both hands, then continued running her fingers through her hair throughout her acceptance speech at the podium. Yuck!


2. Washington: "When in Company, put not your hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered."

2. SSOE: Keep your hands out of your pockets. Do not touch your head or fix your wedgie when in public. We have a local news reporter "man on the street" who reports his stories with one hand holding his mic and the other hand in his pant pocket. What is going on in there? Was he raised by wild dogs?


3. Washington: Shew Nothing yo your Friend that may affright him.

3. SSOE: Never embarrass another person. Leaders always make others feel special. As corny as it may sound, always speak positively so others will always want to be around you, who wouldn't?

4. Washington: In the Presence of Others, Sing not to yourself with a Humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.

4. SSOE: Keep your voice and hands to yourself. Keep your cellphone put away when with company as well. Do not whistle, hum or fiddle with your fingers in public. Also, if you are anything other than a heart surgeon, do not fiddle with your cell phone while at a meal or a party. One does not HAVE to be connected to all one's friends ALL the time. As my Father used to say: "If they need you, they will get you. They will call back." Let your friends wonder what mysterious delicacies you may be delighting in for a while. Be a bit in demand.

5. Washington: If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh or Yawn, do it not loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.

5. SSOE: Turn your head to the side if you must sneeze. Use a Kleenex or handkerchief. In an emergency, use your hand. Then, excuse yourself to the restroom and wash your hands. If you have bad allergies, and have a runny nose all the time, best only to "Dab" your nose with a tissue or hankie at the table. DO NOT blow your nose at the table. Best to go to the restroom. NEVER blow your nose into your napkin while at a meal. Gross! Cover your mouth when you cough or must yawn. Try to smile and breath in during a yawn in front of others if you cannot turn your head.

6. Washington: Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

6. SSOE: Pause look and listen. True listening is when you are not planning out what to say as soon as the other person is finished speaking. Always stand for introductions. Opinions on religion and politics still upset others and still should preferably not be discussed at parties. Pay attention to others when walking in a group.


7. Washington: Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half dressed.

7. SSOE: Gentlemen, DO NOT take off your dress jackets at semi-formal or formal events, even when dancing. I have been at many a formal wedding and Black Tie charity event when the Father of the Bride or Chairman has to ask a gentleman to put back on his jacket. Don't be that guy! Also, even if you are not a pajama guy, buy a robe and use it!

8. Washington: At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

8. SSOE: Move over in your circle if someone joins in the conversation, and do not start yelling your opinion over others in order to be heard. It is hard in this 24 hour world of constant communication to NOT copy the poor example of all the "Talking Heads" on TV and NOT over talk another person, or raise your voice in a growing circle of conversation. Most people like listening to their own voices, so if you must be heard, go home and write in a journal or start a blog.

9. Washington: Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

9. SSOE: Do not spit in public and do not put your feet up onto the table in the kitchen or around food.


10. Washington: When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

10. SSOE: Treat your seat like a church pew. Sit with both feet squarely on the floor. Do not sit on your ankles. Do not wrap your feet around your chair. In Asian and Middle Eastern countries, showing the sole of your shoe is considered rude and insulting.

Just a few first ten tips from three hundred years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same!

Gift Giving in China

Appropriate gift giving in any foreign country is tricky but not complicated once one understands the local customs, traditions and superstitions of the country. A good travel book will have culture included or one can seek out customs in a specific country on the Internet or in a book written on culture at a bookstore, or at the library.
In China, the color white and white flowers are used for funerals, many superstitions surround the numbers 4,9, and 13. Knives, scissors and sharp objects are bad luck to give as a gift in the USA and China. Sometimes in the USA, people give steak knives as a wedding present, and tape a "lucky penny" to the box to alleviate the bad luck, but in China, they do not even believe in a "lucky penny," so stay away from sharp gifts all together. Also, gifts with animals such as Foxes, Wolfs and Badgers are considered to be bad luck.
Giving a clock in China (similar to the old US tradition of covering the clock when someone dies), is associated with death and and evil spirits. US currency(cash), lavish gifts, and food are considered rude.
Appropriate gifts are books, scotch, regional US gifts, and any Company product.
These days, it is simple to do your homework before visiting a foreign country. Enjoy learning about the customs and culture of others. It's fun, and you are a better traveler for the learning!