Even when we think we are ready, we are not ready. Sometimes expected, sometimes unexpected, funerals are hard and sad. The day of death is the hardest day. The funeral is the second hardest day. Forever remembered will be what goes on at the service and interment.
So, please, dear reader, leave the dumb smart phone in your car just as you do when in a courthouse. The world will wait for you. Just for a few precious hours, focus your complete attention on the bereaved. Keep your voice low and your comments short and sweet. No jokes. No quips. No sass. Your quiet presence by itself will be forever precious to the bereaved.
Send a small perennial flowering plant to arrive a few days after the funeral. The Funeral flowers will die after one week. A plant can be re-planted, and flowering perennials last year after year.
Write a nice letter to arrive a few days after the funeral when things calm down. Focus the letter solely on the bereaved. Tell the recipient what a good person they are, for example: a good Daughter/Wife/Son/Brother, etc. Highlight their positive attributes.
The most appreciated act of kindness you can perform at a funeral is to be present, be kind, make eye contact and acknowledge everyone. Pause, look and listen.